You might have heard the often used cliche about being a Christian: Jesus calls you to be a follower not a fan. Yet oftentimes, we don't really know about the cost of following Christ, or we're just ignoring it. Many would just like to become a part of the mob of "Jesus freaks", not really taking it to heart that Christianity is about commitment. And more.
Following Christ has a great cost. I must not dilute God's demands by thinking that it's easy following Christ, like taking a carefree walk in a park. The truth is following Christ will cost me everything: my comfort, my own personal ambitions, my resources. But I must also realize that until I make a decision that He is the greatest treasure I can have and He is all worth it, I cannot truly be a disciple of Christ. One word: SURRENDER.
Following Christ has great rewards. Lest I be mistaken as a fire and brimstone fundamentalist, I must also say that following Christ leads to great blessings. God is not a cosmic killjoy as some already said. God is not unfair; He demands greatly because He loves and rewards greatly. In God's holiness and justice, He cannot allow us to conform to this world in any way we want and compromise the "full and satisfying life" He wants for us. But He won't just easily give it while we keep on enjoying the things that violate His holiness and justice. I must commit to conform to His will and ways. That's the only way I can be able to enter the Kingdom of God.
Following Christ leads to great possibilities. God said in Matthew 19:26, "what is impossible with men is possible with God." Following God means being empowered by God, only if I allow Him to do with me what He intends, and by surrender and love for Him I'd willingly submit. It is by God, for God and through God that everything is possible.
Will you pay this cost?
After Judas betrayed Jesus in exchange for thirty pieces of silver, we can read in Matthew 27:3 that he was "seized with remorse" (NIV), "remorseful" (NKJV), and "regretted what had happened" (ISV). That's an interesting word right there--remorse! Dictionaries define remorse as a feeling of deep regret or guilt. When taken into spiritual context, remorse does not necessarily reflect a "repentant heart" (Psalm 51:17), and "godly sorrow" (2 Corinthians 7:10). That's why remorse was not enough to spare Judas from his sorrows that led him to take away his own life. And why do we even talk about a traitor and regret his decisions?
You see, many of the disciples of Jesus at the time of His crucifixion betrayed Him. One by one they started to disassociate themselves with Jesus at the moment of His arrest. The most famous "traitor" of them all aside from Judas is of course, Peter, one of His most trusted and closest disciples. Peter denied His Lord three times, at different instances, with increasing intensity. He also consciously and deliberately denied his Rabbi. But unlike Judas, Peter was not only regretful, he was repentant. He was overcome with godly sorrow and wept bitterly (Matthew 26:75).
The rest of the disciples also was seemingly absent during the trial and crucifixion of Jesus. They were not there to fight for and stand with Jesus. They were overcome with fear for their own life. Just like Judas they had personal concerns when matters came to worst. But again, unlike Judas, all of them later repented as testified by their willingness to stay in one place even before the resurrection day. At the time of resurrection, Jesus sought to restore Peter and the rest of the disciples who remained. Jesus was there to extend His grace and redemption despite their betrayal.
How about Judas? Well, he was not restored simply because he wasn't there anymore. In fact, he too, had the opportunity to be restored upon seeing that he had made a mistake by betraying 'innocent blood". He had the chance to return to the disciples and repent over what was done, but he did not. He went his way and took matters in his own hands...and into the grave.
The bottomline? Repent, don't just regret! "Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death." (2 Corinthians 7:10)
"We need to pay heed to the many silences in our lives.... each silence has a character of its own. ~Kent Nerburn, "The Eloquence of Silence," Small Graces: The Quiet Gifts of Everyday Life, 1998
Life could just get too noisy at times that the essential things get blocked out from human ears. Too much noise--those that distract a person to hear from the inside--could endanger our connection to our inner self and thus render us vulnerable to external tensions of the world. There will be times that silence is the only respite amid the confusion around. Silence is intimidating because of its capacity to make you feel alone, or worst, unaccepted. And many try to veer away from that. But when accepted as a friend who can understand unconditionally, silence becomes power in its own way. It can help you process things without tensions--only internal, and that's a good thing, too--and it can allow you to think without restrictions. Silence, in itself, is power.
"Silence is a source of great strength." ~Lao Tzu
Sad, isn't it? That a supposed to be good story would end just like that. How two paths could easily diverge from each other just because one or both were just too profound, or too mysterious to take in. Or even too proud to understand.
It's sad when we ignore the possibility of a wonderful picture just because one little speck of colorless streak of miscommunication happen to smear the still unfolding canvass, not realizing the fact that masterpieces are born not out of perfection but by deliberate and gentle acceptance of imperfections and then have the grace to move ahead.
But maybe we're just one good story that is never meant to happen? Maybe our lives are just too colorful, too intense for each other to be able to connect?
Or maybe we were just two stars that glimmered too brightly against each other, and had collided for one brief sparkling moment and then gone?
