The blessings of God's NO

Perhaps you have that passionate prayers that have never been answered. Perhaps you've been led to ask whether God really hears your requests and desires. Or perhaps you've already given up praying because after all, God is all-knowing and all-powerful He always does what pleases Him, even without your consent.

But have we actually thought that maybe our unanswered prayers are just God's way of teaching us to trust Him because He knows better? That maybe His "NO" is just a redirection so that we will not miss His "good pleasing and perfect will"? We are not being denied of our desires and dreams and prayers...God wants us to have something better!

You see in the bible, we can see God shutting doors and closing opportunities for people not because He is power tripping but because He wants them not to get lost in their journey towards their God-given destinations. He says NO to people, even to His most trusted and most faithful followers so that they will not miss the point of God's better plans and better strategies. It's always about living by faith and trusting Him along the way!

So, the next time we see NOs and DETOURs and STOPs and NO WAYs, we'd better follow because the one giving the directions is always right. After all God declares in Isaiah 55:8-9 "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways, for as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts."

God's NO is never a rejection. It is a redirection.

God-broken dreams

He heard the call during the best times of his life. He's got a stable work, a high-paying job in one of the government's well-respected institutions. He's got savings, he's got career. Plus, he's got to see the rest of the country in many different angles and different hues, travelling in places he never thought he could see. And for free. He thought this was already the best place one can be. For all it was worth, he thought he's already living the dream. Why not?

But the call would not go away. It has been awakened from the deeper parts of his soul by a force so strong he tried many times to resist but could not. For a long time, he has tried to silence the voice, hoping that it would fade but it went clearer by the day. He has tried to run away but it is always two, three, four steps ahead of him. And when he realized he could not outrun it anymore, he tried to bargain. He tried to negotiate the terms, planning for his own, deciding for his own. But then, the call wouldn't budge, it wouldn't compromise.

And so he has tried eventually to ignore it, never minding its insistence but it all the more resounded within him. It is longing for a higher place...a place with eternal significance and meaning. It relentlessly morphed from a still small voice to a thundering battle-cry. Captivating and suffocating him at the same time. By then, he did not have the strength anymore to deny it for good. He has to take the call, he has to take it now. The thought of it made his pulse race and his heart burst. Not because of excitement, far from that. But it is the thought of turning away from everything he has dreamed of, it is the thought of losing everything for an uncertain risk. It felt like he was being cheated of his dreams. It felt like he was being denied of every good thing. The sheer irrationality of this call made him wanting to escape. 

But then, promises came. Assurances were made. Hope has taken new meaning and faith became the real thing. He realized then, it was common sense to let it all go, and willingly follow. For so long he thought that he's being denied of his dreams, but he had been proven wrong. He was dreaming too small! So God has to take away his dreams, so that He can replace it with something bigger, something better, and more!

You see, the bible is filled with so many broken people with many broken dreams. But they were God-broken people and God-broken dreams that it the end, they all turned out so well.

It's been almost two years now since I responded to the call to pursue God above all. And I can see that the future is bright!

Dear Warrior Princess

It is raining today as I write this. I can see from the open door of our office the heavy threads of rain, like a grey curtain that extends indefinitely up to the somber morning sky. I can see the constant splattering of water, droplets of rain turning into even smaller droplets as they hit the ground. The sound and the smell of which makes you go back in time, into a certain moment  where the world is at the tips of your fingers and childhood dreams and reality is one and everything is possible. I don't know if it's really the rain that triggered this hyper-romanticize piece of ramblings, or if it's my soul's deep longing for you at this point where it seemed like millions of years already since I started waiting and praying for you. I guess it's the latter. But didn't I wait for so long already? 

You know, the rain would always either impair my thinking and reasoning or it would give clarity to my sense of being--the kind of which makes you bare your true self, your inmost thoughts, your unadulterated emotions. And since I am still thinking clearly right now, I supposed, there's no other conclusion but to say I am dearly missing you already, my Warrior Princess. But I'm not getting ahead of myself, lest I make the same mistake again. I'm not getting ahead of God in His story for my life. My heart have learned to be steadfast, trusting in the Lord and in His timing.

I can only anticipate you, my Warrior Princess, in my prayers and personal time with the Lord. I know that the best way into your heart is to ask it from God, our great Lord whom I believe we both love and serve. I promise to constantly hear from God as He leads me in the right direction. By His unfailing grace, I would not allow my heart to take chances on us, but to prayerfully give to God all anxieties and worries that are part of the waiting season. If there would be times that waiting becomes tougher than it should be, I will bring the battle on my knees and just be still, believing that as I keep on praying God is working. Whether I see Him or not, God is moving.

Like the rain that is due in its season, so I will be--I will be waiting patiently but pursuing prayerfully. I will pursue you in God, but I will pursue God above all. I will seek you persistently in between, but I will seek God first of all. I will dream about you with big dreams about us, but I will dream for God even more. I will strive to honor you in my prayers and I will live to honor God in all matters. I will love you even now as I wait, and I will love God more with all heart, soul, mind and strength. And I know you will, too.

My beloved, know that I am looking forward to that day when we would be able to finally tell each of our stories of seeking, searching and serving God, without fear and doubts. And how wonderful it would be to see the dots in each of our lives finally find connection in the story called "the rest of our life together". But again, until then, my Warrior Princess. I'll see you there.

Waiting with great delight,
Your Warrior Prince

When God says 'wait'

Have you come to a point where you have questioned God's schedule for your life? Have you thought that maybe God is so busy with things other than your desires and feelings? Looking back, I can specifically point out areas in my life that went out of control just because of my inability and unwillingness to wait. There have been those times when I acted out of impulse only to end up miserable and chasing after the wrong things. What if I waited a little bit more? Would that change a thing?

There's so much wisdom in God's word in Psalm 130:5 which says "wait for the LORD, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope." Waiting is God's process of teaching us to hope in Him even if life doesn't make sense at the moment. Even though God would love to show us His great plans for our life all at once, He will not do that because as a Father, He wants us to respond out of love to Him and not because of what He can do for us. We should trust Him one day at a time, in each step, in every heartbeat. When we wait on God, we trust Him that He knows what He is doing and He's never late. That's why we can hope. That's why we can be at rest knowing that behind the scenes, even when we don't see Him, God is working.

The human heart is the most deceitful of all. No doubt about that. It is the source of all frustrations, hurts, and misery because it is evil. And it is in waiting on God that we can get rid of our heart's promptings. When we wait on God, we allow ourselves to focus on His good promises, and on the process of getting there. The last thing we want to happen to our life is to miss God's best just because we want to get ahead of God. He wants us to wait because God wants us to appreciate the beauty of living by faith.

So, that next time you see God flashing the yellow light, proceed with caution, slow down. Wait. And most of all, pray and pursue His words more than anything.

"but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint." -Isaiah 40:31

Life for life

Yesterday, some of the guys who are with me at our training apartment finally fulfilled one of our grandest lifetime ambitions--that is to make a vegetable garden in the backyard of our home at Osmena Avenue. It was two years in the making, but as they say, better late than never. Lols. Sometimes, when you are living with a bunch of guys who have their respective hormonal patterns (and irregularities) and eccentric tendencies, making a house into a hospitable home would take quite an effort. REAL EFFORT. But I've been wrong to impose either an iron-hand discipline or a lenient type of leadership, upon learning that at best, people respond more to the way you LEAD them, not DIRECT them. And since I feel so accomplished in getting our hands literally dirty to make our dream come true, here is what tilling the soil and filling the holes with seeds have taught me.

Discipleship is like gardening. The principles involved in land preparation, planting, cultivating, and harvesting is quite the same with discipling people to Christ. It is boldly responding to God's call for more workers in the field because the harvest is already plenty. I have learned that discipleship is about getting your hands ready for the plow; making an effort to be the hands of Christ in reaching out for more. The Gospel is the seed that will be planted in the hearts of people so that they can grow into Christlikeness. But before that happens, I have to be there with people to cultivate them, feed them, nurture them, protect them, lead them. Making a seed grow is investing your time and resources until you finally see the fruits of your labor. In the same way, discipling people is a commitment to invest your time and to pour out your life for the sake of another. It is the willingness to spend and be spent. It is life for life.

When I look back at my own life and journey of faith, I can't help but be grateful for those people who, through the years have been more than willing to spend and be spent for someone like me. And today, for whatever it's worth, I'd like to honor them as a sign of deep gratitude. (Parang grumaduate lang? haha)

To ate Romyne for her boldness to share the Gospel during a classroom evangelism way back in 2005. You may not remember this ate, but I was there in one of the classes where you have boldly shared the Gospel to freshmen students. It is no irony that it was on our Earth Science class where I heard about the good news of Someone who came to earth just to save me. And though I've already heard that for so many times growing up in a Christian background, I never felt it more sincere than that day. Through you, God has planted something significant in my heart. I attended LAYF the following week at LA, and the rest, they say, is history.

To kuya Joshua who was my first cell leader. I appreciate you for not giving up on my silly attempts to escape our bible study session wherever I'm not in the mood. Pumupunta ka noon sa dorm namin sa Dungon para sunduin at hintayin ako. Palagi kang may dalang mais at mani noon. We did our one-on-one bible study sa park ng LASO. Matatandaan mo pa kuya? It was there that you have prayed for my childish concerns. And then, just like you, I also became a member of LASO. Initiation ko na pala yun noon, hindi mo naman sinabi, haha. Thank you so much kuya. Kahit this year ka palang kinasal, matagal ka ng may naging anak--ako yun. I praise the Lord because you we're one of my spiritual fathers. You have nurtured my desire for meaning and purpose in life those days.

To kuya Nebin my cell leader after kuya Joshua--for exemplifying a life of being a disciple and a discipler. I have said this before, and I will say this again, you are one of the most passionate and faithful disciple-maker I've met. You literally have spend and was spent for the sake of training us and leading us. Our stay at the Training Apartment with you taught us many things. You have modeled a life that sets discipleship at another level. Many of the leaders you have trained are still here, serving in the ministry. You have trained the Joshua Generation very well. Now we are passing the same to the next generation. Pwede ka ng mag-asawa, kuya. Haha.

To kuya Fred and ate Helen Grace, who also have been my cell leaders at one point, thank you for your time and efforts. You were there for me at just the right time in my life for a reason. I appreciate the prayers and guidance.

To kuya James, for teaching me that there is something more important than money and material wealth, and that investing in heaven and in the life of people is the best we can do in this world. Thank you for cultivating in me the virtue of hard-work, perseverance, diligence, maturity, decisiveness. I'm still a work in progress, but by God's grace, I am learning a lot.

To kuya Romy, my pastor and mentor, for helping me process many of my major decisions and transitions in life. Without your godly wisdom and counsel and prayers, things would have turned out differently for me. I praise the Lord for your guidance and leadership not only to me personally, but to the church as well. Thank you for your generosity, and for allowing me to be used in the ministry in ways I never thought possible. I look up to your life and to your testimony. I always tell my disciples that if my life would turn out the same way as yours, then I would not ask for something better, if that's not asking God for too much. You are one life multiplied in many.

To my disciples and fellow warriors in the service of the One True King, we are standing on the shoulders of the giants. We are here because of the faithful men and women who have responded to God's call in their lives to sow a seed of faith. We are the fruits of their labor. It is now our turn to do the same. To plant the seed of faith, to be willing to plow the field and reap the harvest for God's greater glory. Let's go and make disciples!