God-broken dreams

He heard the call during the best times of his life. He's got a stable work, a high-paying job in one of the government's well-respected institutions. He's got savings, he's got career. Plus, he's got to see the rest of the country in many different angles and different hues, travelling in places he never thought he could see. And for free. He thought this was already the best place one can be. For all it was worth, he thought he's already living the dream. Why not?

But the call would not go away. It has been awakened from the deeper parts of his soul by a force so strong he tried many times to resist but could not. For a long time, he has tried to silence the voice, hoping that it would fade but it went clearer by the day. He has tried to run away but it is always two, three, four steps ahead of him. And when he realized he could not outrun it anymore, he tried to bargain. He tried to negotiate the terms, planning for his own, deciding for his own. But then, the call wouldn't budge, it wouldn't compromise.

And so he has tried eventually to ignore it, never minding its insistence but it all the more resounded within him. It is longing for a higher place...a place with eternal significance and meaning. It relentlessly morphed from a still small voice to a thundering battle-cry. Captivating and suffocating him at the same time. By then, he did not have the strength anymore to deny it for good. He has to take the call, he has to take it now. The thought of it made his pulse race and his heart burst. Not because of excitement, far from that. But it is the thought of turning away from everything he has dreamed of, it is the thought of losing everything for an uncertain risk. It felt like he was being cheated of his dreams. It felt like he was being denied of every good thing. The sheer irrationality of this call made him wanting to escape. 

But then, promises came. Assurances were made. Hope has taken new meaning and faith became the real thing. He realized then, it was common sense to let it all go, and willingly follow. For so long he thought that he's being denied of his dreams, but he had been proven wrong. He was dreaming too small! So God has to take away his dreams, so that He can replace it with something bigger, something better, and more!

You see, the bible is filled with so many broken people with many broken dreams. But they were God-broken people and God-broken dreams that it the end, they all turned out so well.

It's been almost two years now since I responded to the call to pursue God above all. And I can see that the future is bright!