Four years and seven semesters ago, I identified myself as someone who would be doing great in the university. I saw myself as someone who would be enjoying every opportunity of being in college, of having the chance to learn from this renowned institution. I saw myself as someone who would be fulfilling every expectations that I brought in my luggage when I left home to earn what other people consider to be a vital survival kit in this dog-eat-dog world—a college diploma.
It is still vivid in my reminiscences what I want to achieve, what I am going to pursue, and on what path I would be walking through—a path that would lead me to fulfillment, and what else but a chance to have that happy and contented life I think of?
In going to this university, not by chance but by my own choice, I knew I would never get nearer to my dreams if I still look for somewhere else. Of course, there are better universities out there but I simply realize then, that I did exactly the right choice. I need not to weigh my fate or destiny (if indeed there are such, but I believe in them) with the mistakes I fear am going to make if I fail, but on the choices I would be regretting eventually if I would not consider them. Thus, I chose to be here.
It would be great for me if I did pursue my only chosen course I put in my application form when I applied to this university a few years back. There was no turning back for me then. I was in second year high school when I'd obsessively fix my eyes to an imaginary sheet of paper called diploma with the degree I once craved for to have scribbled in it—Bachelor of Science in Biology. I was totally excited to get out of high school and grab the piece of cake reserved for me in college.
That was how I met my first family here in the university—the S-1. I almost said I would never find any other like them because it was ideal for me to have such wonderful people no matter how diverse we've been in a lot of ways: in culture, upbringing, ideas, passions, and even religion. But who cares with the differences and diversities of people and beliefs? We all are different in a lot of ways but we still co-exist despite of it.
Differences, I learned, is a tangible phenomenon we may likely to experience given the fact that we are not all living the same lives; that we are not walking on the same feet. Nevertheless, it could be overshadowed if only we acknowledge that after all, we were sharing a common ground. That is ideal, I suppose, but I think we need not be an intelligent individual to understand what common ground that is.
Although I can say I did good during those first two semesters in a science bloc (and enjoyed it), I was really left in a collision between what I wanted before and what I want this time. The winds of change had swept me from my decision to pursue my intended course to choosing another that perhaps only time and destiny could judge if I did chose the right path. Would I be willing to spend my life in the laboratory? Could I really be experiencing life and what could fulfill me by just peering into a microscope, scrutinizing an apathetic organism? I believed that was the most exciting thing to pursue because I loved doing that, and as I said, I was dying hard to grab that opportunity. But never did I imagine that I would really be sacrificing that dream; never did I realize that I could actually give up what I loved to do, in exchange to what I really want to become.
Thus, by a sudden twist of fate, I ended up with my present course in field of Social Sciences. I cannot anymore recount how I came up with my course, but sure, I can remember my reasons for doing such. I think it would take much time for people to understand them, but it would be mine to go on with my convictions.
I supposed to have learned so many things by now. Yeah, right, after living in this university—which I would always consider a home—for almost four years now, I was supposed to be what I intended to be by this time; or nearer to it, at least.
Only time knows how much fulfillment I already had during these years; and how much frustrations I already encountered, and perhaps, survived. If destiny would still allow me to look back to it when the time comes that I could no longer remember them, then I would be grateful that I did just what I wanted to do.
I am not saying this because I’m already leaving this university for good. I am saying this because, perhaps, I would be staying in this university a little while longer than I was expected to. Yes, and for whatever reasons, I might not finish my course exactly at the intended time, but I am sure, it will be at the right time.
Someone said that we live in a constant struggle with change. I agree with it because I believe that as human beings, we do not always want to be stuck up in a corner and just wonder why.
I know I still have to go far to realize everything I have dreamed of—but not too far.
I am only grateful for the fact that there are people out there who continue to forge my belief.
I am grateful for the fact that not all people are apathetic and closed-minded.
I am grateful for the fact that not all people break you; there are people who are willing to build you up.
I am most grateful for the fact that when I can no longer endure the hardest of the most hard, there are people who selflessly reach out a hand to carry me.
Lastly, I will always be grateful that the way things have been, do not necessarily mean that's the way they will always be.
Although I can say I did good during those first two semesters in a science bloc (and enjoyed it), I was really left in a collision between what I wanted before and what I want this time. The winds of change had swept me from my decision to pursue my intended course to choosing another that perhaps only time and destiny could judge if I did chose the right path. Would I be willing to spend my life in the laboratory? Could I really be experiencing life and what could fulfill me by just peering into a microscope, scrutinizing an apathetic organism? I believed that was the most exciting thing to pursue because I loved doing that, and as I said, I was dying hard to grab that opportunity. But never did I imagine that I would really be sacrificing that dream; never did I realize that I could actually give up what I loved to do, in exchange to what I really want to become.
Thus, by a sudden twist of fate, I ended up with my present course in field of Social Sciences. I cannot anymore recount how I came up with my course, but sure, I can remember my reasons for doing such. I think it would take much time for people to understand them, but it would be mine to go on with my convictions.
I supposed to have learned so many things by now. Yeah, right, after living in this university—which I would always consider a home—for almost four years now, I was supposed to be what I intended to be by this time; or nearer to it, at least.
Only time knows how much fulfillment I already had during these years; and how much frustrations I already encountered, and perhaps, survived. If destiny would still allow me to look back to it when the time comes that I could no longer remember them, then I would be grateful that I did just what I wanted to do.
I am not saying this because I’m already leaving this university for good. I am saying this because, perhaps, I would be staying in this university a little while longer than I was expected to. Yes, and for whatever reasons, I might not finish my course exactly at the intended time, but I am sure, it will be at the right time.
Someone said that we live in a constant struggle with change. I agree with it because I believe that as human beings, we do not always want to be stuck up in a corner and just wonder why.
I know I still have to go far to realize everything I have dreamed of—but not too far.
I am only grateful for the fact that there are people out there who continue to forge my belief.
I am grateful for the fact that not all people are apathetic and closed-minded.
I am grateful for the fact that not all people break you; there are people who are willing to build you up.
I am most grateful for the fact that when I can no longer endure the hardest of the most hard, there are people who selflessly reach out a hand to carry me.
Lastly, I will always be grateful that the way things have been, do not necessarily mean that's the way they will always be.
No comments:
Post a Comment