I'm now learning to really appreciate God's story for my life. If I'd go back to the times that I was still soul searching and struggling whether to obey completely or to selectively submit to God's will, it seemed utterly insane I would honestly say. It was crazy. The call came at a time when I was suppose to focus on career and ambitions that would give me security in the future. It also came at a time when family responsibilities should be a primary concern. But still, it came. Relentlessly. And it demanded a lot. It demanded my dependence on a big salary, it demanded the opportunity for career advancement, it demanded the chance to literally travel and see the world, it demanded my own ambitions and advancement of the self.
It demanded that I must die to my self and carry my cross. It demanded that I should trust God's ambition for me. So I said yes. After a very long time of struggling and praying and seeking and questioning over and over. I have plans, I have ambitions, but God would reassure me that He has better plans and that they will prevail. I have to keep trusting and living by faith.
It is still a long way to go. But the journey's getting better and better. Each day is truly a miracle unfolding. You can't fling your life totally for God and expect Him to fail. He will be accountable. He will be faithful. He will not dishonor His promises. God will hold me up.
I'm floating on grace and love so real and endless that I couldn't return to what once was.
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