Here be warriors

There will be that place that you always want to return to. Where every sunset is more sublime than anywhere else; where nights are grander and the skyline patterned with glittering cosmic objects carry a greater meaning; where silence speaks deeper to the soul and where solitude is a profound experience of the physical and the metaphysical becoming one.

You will always be a place I'd like to return to.

God-broken pieces

I was de-cluttering our study room earlier when I stumbled upon this book beneath the debris of old papers from my academe years and stacks of hardcovers I piled up over time. I borrowed this from a friend long ago and I didn't know this was still under my custody.

Apologies to the owner though, I never finished reading the whole book. Actually, I never got past chapter 2. And I don't want to finish it. Why is that? Well let's just say that I learned the hard way instead. For some reasons, I once got my heart broken for things I thought I was already prepared for, and I realized that experience is truly a good teacher. 

The thing is, the world breaks you. People break you. And it's not an option that once you got broken, you have to do the mending. Because it's the only way. I'm just glad I stayed strong, and I was made strong in the places I was broken. 

So, can we actually mend and doctor a broken heart? God can. If you give Him all the pieces without any reservation.

LAYF to the fullest!

This is a picture I took from the upper deck of the CLSU auditorium right after our first youth fellowship this semester last August 19. The sight of hundreds upon hundreds of students and youth waving excitedly at the camera's direction is truly heartwarming, knowing that earlier, these students were passionately praising and worshiping the Most High King.

It was only the first LAYF meet up this new semester, and youth hungry for God came in troves--500 plus of them. I was hyped to know that this is now happening in our generation. And God is not finished yet.

I can't keep but burst with gladness. 

Alright, I cried. But I managed to snap a shot before tears came and my heart break gloriously one more time.

Born for Adversity

The KING's Men (from L-R) Jhonder Padua, Alfin Boy Diego, Ventura Chinaman, Me,
Anjo Dayson:  we've been together since college days serving the King in the youth ministry.
Years have passed yet the delight in doing God's work grows stronger.

I just want to honor these gentlemen and fellow warriors in the KING's army for being such a great help in the fields of battle. Their dedication and service and loyalty to our Great Cause are truly encouraging.

When times are tough and the battle is long and dreary, they are there willing to fight side by side and are always ready to carry the banner for His Majesty. They've charged courageously in every war-zone, without ever counting the cost.

Every mission becomes easier to carry out because of their selflessness and humility. For that, I'm always blessed to run the race and to fight the good fight of faith with them.

We will finish strong together! All to the KING!

Proverbs 17:17 "A friend loves at all times; and a brother is born for adversity."

27 Random Confessions

27 Crazy Random Confessions on my 27^th year

1. I am a Martian. Well, I used to be. When governments in Mars argued that the planet is becoming too hot and found out that I was the cause, they threw me out. Now, planet Earth is complaining of global warming and climate change. I have strong reasons to believe that they’ll deport me to Pluto next.

2. People say I am extremely and chronically occupied most of the time. But I guess not. Mass is relative to size. And I am 8 kilograms underweight. So I guess they’re extremely wrong and chronically mistaken.

3. Most of the time, either I am seriously joking, or joking seriously. People got confused with my sense of humor, but I can tell they like it. Jooooke!

4.  I belong to the 18^th century and I am a proud disciple of the Romanticist Movement. As a self-proclaimed romanticist, I believe in the grand notion of selflessness, idealism, heroism and true love…or otherwise known as fairy-tale. (Just kidding, I really believe in true love. Boom!)

5. My greatest crime is procrastination. And it really sucks. Maybe I will figure out what’s wrong, but not today.

6. I have so many reasons to believe that the brilliant writer-speaker Patricia Evangelista is my soul-mate. I just can’t figure out ‘why’? LOL.

7. When I drink my coffee this morning and it immediately created in me that drowsy sensation that wants to send my body back to bed, it confirmed my long-time suspicion that coffee does not actually reduce sleepiness but does exactly the opposite. I was planning to inject some dose into my heart when I realized, it already belongs to someone else. (Ayiie! I don't like logic. Kape pa!)

8. I was usually the very reclusive type of person who keeps it all to himself. But when I learned that not even my own self wants to listen to me, I decided to become a public speaker. Man, it’s an effective catharsis. And I love it! I’m not just sure if the public does, too.

9. Rain is my very good friend. It’s a good literary mentor. I’m not sure if it’s any connection, but when dark clouds pregnant with rain gives birth to countless droplets and kiss the parched ground and ram the roof and everything around seem to morph into something inexplicable that touches the soul, that I can write with sense. Well, it’s raining today and clouds are pregnant with rain and I can’t write with sense so perhaps it’s just wishful thinking.

10. I love travelling. I’ve already been to many places around the world—brewed coffee in Paris while waiting for the sunset; watched an orchestra play classics in Prague; chased a serial killer throughout Europe; cruised the Atlantic on the largest steamship ever built; strolled the megacities and outskirts of Japan while solving a dystopian puzzle and many more. If you want to hitchhike in my next travel, I’ll let you borrow my books. I’ve learned that reading can be all you ever think it could be, and more. Ah, I love reading!

11. One of my biggest dreams is to collect books that have won the Pulitzer Prize, fiction and nonfiction. I now have a decent number of titles in my prized collection—the old ones are really hard to find though. My books are a great part of me, and they would be a sentimental gift for my future children. I’d like to share to them and make them appreciate the invaluable joys of reading.

12. When I was a baby, my mother used to tuck a book under my pillow to sleep on. It was an aged English grammar textbook. Old folks from the barrio believe that a baby can ‘absorb’ the book’s content in his or her sleep. As they say, ‘pampatalino’. When it turned out that I actually came to love English subjects, it seemed that the magic worked out. But then again I’m so bad in numbers and even failed my Algebra. I really wished they’d made me sleep in libraries instead.

13. I am an introvert. That’s not a confession to make, if it’s already stating the obvious. I can be best  left alone in my thoughts and in my own personal world. I prefer to work things out in my mind. But then again, I graduated from a course that demands that I should be with people; my first job after graduation was teaching, and I enjoyed it for four years; and now, I coach and lead young people and students and encouraging them to find some meaning. What was the lesson? It is this: a person is not defined by some psycho-sociological classification; that the only inability that causes one to not fulfill his or her reality is the inability to go beyond himself or herself. I was glad to have overcome. I am now an ‘extroverted introvert’—whatever that is!

14. I’m into drugs. I tend to get hooked into something that gets me high and free. It’s called IDEALISM and FAITH. Being idealistic doesn’t necessarily give you the food to eat, but it is the only one that can feed the soul and satisfy the spirit. And having faith they say is counterproductive and meaningless? And who said that? People who believe in ‘nothing’? Well, I find them hard to believe.

15. I still believe that the best presidents we never had are Jovito Salonga and Raul Rocco. Today, true statesmen are really hard to find, but they are there. They seem to happen once in a million lifetimes. Crooks, on the other hand, are in abundance. We seem to have a supply of them that can last a million lifetimes. As senator Mirriam says, “well, stupid is forever”. What can I say further? #Mirriamfor2016! Hashtag on that!

16. I have many reasons to believe that the Philippines will someday be a great nation again. We are blessed abundantly with resources, we have talented people in all fields, and our courage and strength as a people always frustrate natural calamities by failing to bring us down. And though they say that we are a corrupt nation, we still have leaders who are dignified, upright, and have vision. We have to be wise. We have to give them a chance.

17. My real writing heroes are Anna Quindlen, Patricia Evangelista, Conrado De Quiros and F. Sionil Jose. I thank Ms. Quindlen for the unforgiving and sentimental portrayal of realities that made her won the Pulitzer. I thank Patricia for her gut-stabbing stories full of visuals and courage that won my heart. I thank Conrado De Quiros for the words that rub deeply to the bones. I thank F. Sionil Jose—the Filipino quintessential writer who deserves a Nobel Prize—for his nationalism and for claiming that progress can be attained by decolonizing the Filipino mind. (Alright, I thank Bob Ong for the humor. That’s all, please.)

18. I'm dreaming of winning a Pulitzer Prize someday. Or a Nobel. Or maybe I could drink my third cup of coffee today.

19. One of my worst moments was when I figured in a motorcycle accident that broke my arm while on the way to a birthday celebration of someone who would later break my heart. I thank God it’s already healed and mended. I mean my heart.

20. One of my most favorite quotes is from the greatest poet who ever lived; I’ve said that with no bias. His name is Rumi and he said it this way. “You have to keep breaking your heart until it opens.” I have allowed my heart to be broken by many things. But the greatest of them was when God finally came through and broke my heart. It was a turning-point. God breaking my heart was and will always be the greatest, sweetest heartbreak ever.

21. I’ve learned that your choices in this life will highly be affected by your set of values. So if you want to make the good choices, be sure to have good values. All other things done without values are just compromise.

22. I’ve learned that you cannot really detach yourself from life’s realities. It is not fiction, though you are an actor. An actor must be active. Be aware of the script, read the dialogue, consider the phasing, prepare to adlib, and most importantly, contribute significantly to the story. It’s your life story anyway. Make it worth reading.

23. And when it comes to romantic love, I decide not to settle for anything less than a God-glorifying relationship. I’ve been to a few bumps and twists in the high road of searching for fulfilling relationship, and I thank God for making me realize that the only way is straight ahead in His will for me. So now, I insist on the non-negotiable: either she's a PASSIONATE CHRISTIAN OR A PASTOR’s DAUGHTER, OR I’D RATHER BE SINGLE. (Whoa, I said that with fear and trembling).

24. I desire to see a generation that is sold out for Jesus Christ; a generation whose thirst for godliness and righteousness can never be quenched by a society which is easily becoming devoid of meaning; a generation whose passion is set for the LORD and His work; a generation whose heart is broken by the things that break God's heart; a generation that will love the LORD with all heart, soul, and strength. I intend to reach out for this generation and to nurture it for the journey of faith; to raise up warriors who will courageously stand for the KING and carry His banner to the ends of the earth. And at the end of the day I'd say just like Max Lucado: "only one life will soon be past; only what's done for Christ will last".

25. I’ve learned that the best life is the one that is spent ‘running the race for Christ’ (Philippians 3:14) and ‘fighting the good fight of faith’ (1 Timothy 6:12). Anything done without Christ is meaningless and is chasing after the wind (Ecclesiastes 1:14). So I intend to wait upon God, to be enraptured by His unfailing grace, to be consumed daily by His will, to relish in His great love.

26. I’ve decided that if my life is not offered fully to the grace by which God has called me, then my life would mean nothing. I concur with what the Christian best-selling author Dr. Larry Crabb said, “I have come to a point in my life where I have to know God better or I won’t make it in life. Unless my passion for God surpasses all other passion in my life, I’d rather die.” Following Christ has always been this way.

27. “I have decided to pursue nothing except Jesus Christ and Him crucified” -1 Corinthians 2:2. Nothing more, nothing less.

There! Taking so much time filling out these 27 entries really proves that I am not getting any younger. I know there will come a time when I’d write something like this again and all I can do is to stare at a blank screen and could only write one thing: “God is faithful, to Him be the honor and glory!”

10th

Ten awesome years and counting! :)

This June marks my 10th year in Nueva Ecija. Here in CLSU, specifically. And what can I say? No one's getting young? Haha.

Hindi biro ang isang dekadang lumipas. Ten years was enough to define a life, a dream, an ambition. Ten years was enough to test the quality of a belief, a principle, a character. It was enough to truly identify what matters and what doesn't.

So, I'd like to celebrate the awesome decade that was by embracing another phase of my warrior journey--moving ahead, higher, deeper and stronger than ever! I'd like to celebrate the journey by looking back with a thankful heart, and looking ahead with so much anticipation. I'm hyped right now to continue this pursuit of what romanticists often say as "meaningful existence", and to never get enticed with something less.

With God, I am in for more!

And to you LORD, who has done immeasurably and beyond what I can ask or imagine; who has done great things; who has freely given more than what is deserved--thank you for the last ten years!

Ten awesome years in CLSU (of studying and working and walking around its beautiful campus which I will never get tired of falling in love with);

ten awesome years in Nueva Ecija (should I declare myself as Novo Ecijano already?);

ten awesome years of working for the Lord in the ministry (of finding meaning and hope and purpose with eternal value);

ten awesome years of being with great and wonderful people who never get tired of my cheesy-ness and tantrums and wild tendencies and hyper-romanticized notion of true love (Lol);

ten awesome years of God's faithfulness in so many ways that I am at a loss for words to describe. I can only say thank You, thank You, thank You!

Cheers to the next awesome years ahead!

That one small dent in the universe

On Saturday, I will give a talk to students about setting priorities and ambitions. I don't feel like I was the right person to preach about these things, considering that I was someone so full of uncertainties about what priorities and ambitions really meant. Especially the worthy ones.

See, I've already wasted many chances to become better, compromising them for lesser things. I've ignored many opportunities to make an impact. I've been so used to my own comfort and with just my personal convenience. I've been at a loss to pursue the things that really matter.

I was so cowardly and unbelieving. And was so dependent with my own limited abilities and with my own limited standards that I felt getting on with everyday life was enough. That by merely existing, I can find a life of my own.

I was so terrified to embrace the fact that ambitions, no matter how small, when they are offered to God and for His glory...can impact eternity.

I was so naive to think that if God wants to accomplish His will, He could find someone else.

But God is relentless. When He calls, He makes it loud and clear.

And now I'm willing to go all the way to be consumed by His purposes. To be willing to spend and be spent for His glory. When the time comes that I get to be frustrated and exhausted, I would remind myself that it is He who enables me. His all-sufficient grace will carry me through.

I believe that when God provides the opportunity, He also supplies the ability.

I'll carry His banner and raise it in places where people can see. This is an ambition that matters. Because I only have one life to live. But I will live fully to make it count.

On Saturday I will give a talk...and it will be my life story.

I'm saying YES!

I'm reviewing some warrior lessons I picked up along the way. And since I'm now getting ready for some greater things in the coming days, having decided to give up a little of my comfort in exchange for something bigger than myself, it pays to go back to the places where it all began.

The following were my notes from the "Unstoppable" conference I co-hosted last year. It was well, unforgettable.

But I'm doing myself a favor. This is a reminder, lest I forget...

There are two things that Pastor Pabs shared from the story of the Israelites at Mount Horeb found in the first chapter of the book of Deuteronomy that I want to reflect upon. If we are to possess our promised land, we should:

a) “Break Camp”. To break camp means we let go of whatever situations that are holding us back from journeying towards our destiny. We must learn to surrender everything that keeps us from our potentials. We must have the willingness to destroy “tents” that keep us from seeing and following God. If something is drawing us away from God, then by all means, break camp! If our comfort prevents us from attempting great things for God, then by all means, break camp!

b) “Advance”. Or simply, move forward. It means going forward not to the direction we think is better, not to the road we think is more comfortable, not to the terrain we feel is safer BUT to the direction where God Himself is leading us. We should learn from the Israelites themselves in their journey for forty years in the wilderness. They almost missed God’s destiny for them just because they refuse to follow God’s leading. We must at all times obey by faith, allowing God to direct our every step.

Truly, God was unstoppable. Now the chase is over.

And I'm saying "YES!"

To the KING, now and for always.

Chasing country roads

Country roads always have that downing effect on me. I don't know what kind of emotions to describe the surging urge to go home every time I look at an image, or walk on one.

There's just this sense of warmth and tangible feeling of serenity that you could actually immerse yourself into. 

Passing by old roads and cobbled streets is in itself an unfolding journey towards self realization. Of course, besides the notion of you're just passing through, philosophizing things is unavoidable for a self-confessed and incurable romanticist like me.

The beauty of walking at country roads lies on its power to usher you into thinking that a journey--in some other place and in some other time--always leads to home.

And that, apart from the journey itself, is the greatest reason to continue walking and getting on with it.

Prologue

Intense.

One word to describe this current season of seizing and surrendering. The warrior's battle is escalating in unprecedented scale--and it is unstoppable.

Only one thing is sure. The higher way would be there, opening wide and ushering in, until the necessary "yes" is uttered at last. It would be there until the warrior shall totally fling himself towards the center of this great, cosmic war of drifting away and leaving a dent. And to choose between the two.

"No" is cowardly. It would be shameful, disastrous. But "Yes" is the only necessary choice. It is the only way. It is the only thing that will matter in the end, and one that which will resonate throughout eternity.

It's now time to make a choice; to take a stand.

What would it be?

There's no other way but up. Up in God's higher call.

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That can't be named

The thing I love most with books and good stories is the way they turn you from the inside out, how they manage to uproot you from your normal world and make you see things in another light, perhaps in a clearer state. I love books that create in me a chance to dissect my own existence in a way I never had before.

This book, Freedom by Jonathan Franzen, is one of those. I never felt so identified to a work of fiction since To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee (which remains my all-time favorite). This book has this thing I can not name, really. All I know is that its depth and power have swept me over, devastated me in a most wonderful way. Suddenly, I don't like myself anymore.

The Power to overcome

We're just done with our regular evening devotion, and me and my roommates were all excited to share about what we learn from the second chapter of the book of Acts. It was really amazing how things were orchestrated according to how they should be. Even our devotional schedule affirms our current season of seizing and overcoming.

After being done with the four Gospel books which reminded us again in a new perspective regarding the roots of our belief, it's now time to focus on acting it out. Besides, the Book of Acts is really a book actions! This contains power-packed stories of how the early Christian church was established, and how the promised Holy Spirit manifested in the lives of the believers.

The Spirit plays a crucial role in the Christian walk. He seals the believer's salvation, He sustains them, comforts them, and enlightens them. As the Third Person of the Holy Trinity, the Holy Spirit is the One responsible for the believer's transformation from "glory to glory". He is all this and many more!

Sharing my insights in Acts 2: The promise Who was given

1) The Holy Spirit empowers us to do the supernatural.

Every Christian believer must bank on this promise from the LORD. The long walk to purity, righteousness, and obedience is filled with oppositions not only in the physical but more in the spiritual realm. We are fighting in a battle where weapons are not made of metals and enemies of flesh and blood. It is a battle in a cosmic scale, struggling against all spirits that is in the world. But our God is greater! The Holy Spirit Who indwells the believers and warriors is empowering us to overcome in this spiritual warfare. It is He Who gives us supernatural victories!

2) The Holy Spirit enables us to be bold witnesses for Christ.

Peter was the perfect example. Before the promised Spirit was given to him, he was doubtful and weak in the faith. He was a defeated warrior. When Jesus was arrested and the probability of being sentenced to death was high, he denied Jesus passionately. Three times Peter said he had nothing to do with Christ! But after he received the Promise, he was never the same person again. The fearful turned into faithful minister of the Word. His doubts were all washed away in the sweep of the Spirits power.

And when Peter stood before a large assembly, he readily proclaimed the Word with all passion, not anymore counting his life precious to him. He has but one goal: to build the Church which Jesus entrusted him to build. And he did...all because of the Spirit working on him and through him.

3) The Holy Spirit equips us to multiply.

When Peter and the apostles started preaching the Gospel after receiving the Promise, multitudes of people were added to their number. In one Spirit-filled sermon alone, three thousand were converted to Christianity! And Scripture says that people were added daily from then on.

When the Spirit works, sinners get convicted and people are transformed. When the Spirit empowers our words, He can convict the world.

The call for us is to depend fully on the Holy Spirit. We may get discouraged, we may be burned out, or be shaken, but God cannot. He promised to stay with us, and He does!

Warrior's Creed #2: Total Surrender

Getting ready to cross the river and seize the promise!

I am currently studying the book of Joshua in the Old Testament for my personal morning devotions (my housemates and I at the Gideon training apartment are doing a group devotion in the evening, but that will be for another post).

 Things are getting rather intense these days as I am balancing crucial aspects of my life: my family, my work, and my ministry (or am I unintentionally switching one from the other?) But the fact that God's grace is overflowing and ever encouraging, I have no doubt that things will settle in perfect places. The Scripture says things have fallen in the pleasant places for me. The lot has been cast, and all good things will be relentless.

The warrior story of Joshua is a story of full obedience and decisiveness. Taking over the reins of leadership from his mentor, Moses, he was set to fulfill a crucial mission: bring God's people to the promised land. The pressure was all on him when Moses died: the people already waited for forty years, they wanted to go home. They needed a leader: strong and decisive.

God instructed Joshua to lead, and he never hesitated.

Here are few things I learned from the first three chapters of the book of Joshua, which I wish to expound later after finishing the whole book:

What to do accomplish God's will?

1) Physical Preparation

Although God can accomplish things on His own, He didn't plan things out as if humans are slaves and machines. One of the things He gave us is freewill. We can choose to obey or not. But the things he prepared for us must be taken out of obedience to Him and His word. God only requires us to live by faith, trust His will, and work our hands out according to His plans.

We must lay hold of God's promises and act on them!

Vision plus action. That is my current battle-cry. It is now high time for me to go to the next level of faith. It is now time to get rid of all the reservations and pursue a deeper level of commitment. God has been consistently on the work despite my stubbornness and hard of heart. And I now completely appreciate that I was called to carry out a mission, to use my life for something greater than my own, personal ambitions. Having the vision of God's will is something; carrying it out into action is another.

And so, though with shaking knees and trembling voice, I must run the race and declare the Word until I finish strong! Besides, "He who began a good work in me will carry it into completion..." (Philippians 1:6).

2) Spiritual Preparation

God's power is fully revealed in a life that is set-apart for His purposes and glory. Miracles happen when we get rid of ourselves everything that is not pleasing to God. A holy life is a powerful and miracle working life! I cannot be used mightily in the Kingdom if I cherish secret sins in my heart. I cannot be used to transform lives if my own is not transformed. Purity is power in the life of a believer! The only way I can do this is to trust the Holy Spirit to empower me every step of the way. Left on my own, I am limited. Left on my own power, I cannot endure great opposition from the enemy. But thanks be to God, He never left me as orphan. My King has established my path by His own steps...giving me power to go and overcome!

It was in this principle of consecration and purity that God worked mightily in the life of Joshua. He sanctified himself, and consecrated his life, his family, his mission, his purpose, for the glory of the King. And all Joshua ever experienced was a life of victory after victory...making him great in the land and among the people. God has been with him as He has promised!

In Joshua 3:5, the King revealed His war plan: "Sanctify yourselves, for tomorrow the LORD will do great and amazing wonders among you." I am again excited to see what God has in store for me in this season of my life--a season of action and deeper commitment. I know better now than to live out a mediocre Christianity. I have seen many great things the LORD has done to still settle for something less. It's been a long time coming, but it is HERE and it is NOW. What else is there to fear? I am serving the KING of kings. I must lay hold of the authority He has given me.

As He was faithfully with Joshua ever since the beginning up to the last day, so the LORD will be with me today and for all eternity.

I intend to live by faith and trust in God's goodness and grace. It's time to cross the river and seize my promised land!

Warrior's Creed: All to the King!

"Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord." -Philippians 3:8

Many people spent literally their entire life trying to find what matters. In our pursuit of power, money, fame, position, or significance, we tend to give all just to achieve an aspiration, an ideal. We study hard in schools to gain greater advantage. We work our hands real hard to achieve favor from men or from social structures that seem to control our will.

And this is not wrong. But it will be so eventually especially if we miss the chance to anchor our purpose on what will truly matter in the end. It will be very wrong if in our pursuit of the things we thought is essential, we end up losing our very life.

Because reality is, we now seem to live in a time where material things and the search for personal satisfaction get to be the center of our existence. We live in a constant chase of our own life.

There's no end to our pursuit of personal fulfillment.

But at the end of the day, what of these things? Will I rest my assurance on something that doesn't last. Will I entrust my future on something temporary. Will I find significance in things that are only good by the measures of this world, but are only fleeting shadows when compared with eternity?

As a warrior in the Unshakable Kingdom and servant of the Sovereign King, I must strive to be better than all these meaningless pursuit of the self. I must anchor my confidence on my Commander-in-Chief, to never question His strategies and His means. For I know that it was He who has given the call, it is He who supplies and empowers, it is He who will overcome.

The apostle Paul, one of the greatest warriors in history, no less exemplified a life that is fully surrendered to the King's cause. But there is much more to his warrior journey than that.

Prior to encountering his King one time on that road to Damascus, he was one of the most notorious persecutor of Christians. He has given his life for the purpose of seeing Christianity die in those early days. He was very zealous of destroying communities of believers. He existed to inject fear among those who follow the King. He was a passionate murderer and torturer of Christians.

In fact, when he encountered the King on the road to Damascus, he was on his way to persecute the Christian community there. But God has a greater plan. God has prepared a detour for him. And he was never the same person again.

What is amazing in Paul's warrior journey is not his extraordinary "conversion" nor the supernatural events surrounding his initiation to the Christian faith. It was only a small fraction of the entire story.

It was rather his "transformation" that is most amazing and most encouraging. It was his single-minded focus to serve his King that is worth-telling in many generations to come. It was his passionate, consistent denying of the self that is worth-emulating.

All people, at some point, can always be converted to a certain cause or a belief. But sadly, not all conversion leads to loyalty or the birth of commitment and purpose. We can be converted to the Christian faith without really being transformed from within. Transformation of the individual is the effect of following Christ. That is what real Christianity means: transformation of the entire being through the grace of God; not just an outward and physical conversion.

The King is calling transformed individuals, not converts.

I am thankful for Paul's transformation. I am inspired by his warrior journey and testimony. It is encouraging to know that a person like Paul--with high educational attainment, great wealth, lofty social position, and has claim all to himself can throw it all away for the sake of following Christ. He literally left everything just to know and serve his King (Philippians 3). Paul went on to become one of the greatest of Jesus' disciples, and wrote 13 influential epistles in the New Testament! All for the glory of God!

On a personal note, the appeal of self-fulfillment can still be attractive. But I know better now. I am comforted by the fact that if it is God's will, it is God's bill. This purpose that God has called me into is the one which will matter. Anything less is meaningless.

Nothing comes close to the joy and fulfillment of serving the King.

***
To get a sense of Paul's personal encounter and the context of his warrior journey, walk with him on the road to Damascus.

This Grace

The day started with the lyrics of the classic christian song "Amazing Grace" blurting out of the loudspeaker from behind me.

Here in this institute where excellence is upheld and integrity is a byword, it is encouraging to see that in every start of the week, we ask God for His favor and His grace in our work. That although our country is now becoming a highly secularized state with the increase of opposing narratives coming from the extreme liberals and post-modernists of varying tendencies, we still recognize that somehow, there really is a God up there whose grace we need to invoke. 

And even if, for most people, grace is misunderstood, that is always a good start.

Grace. In the Christian perspective, it carries a great weight. This is one of the concepts that is highly misunderstood. In matters relating to salvation, people can not grasp the truth that we need not work for eternal life because Jesus already accomplished that. We just have to receive it by faith. The saving grace of Jesus Christ as publicly demonstrated in the Cross of Calvary is already absolute and final. And any attempt at adding to the work of Christ is an insult to His sacrifice.

Yes. That's why it is hard to understand.

People seem to find alternatives thinking that we don't deserve God's grace, that's why we need to work hard in order to get saved or gain favor from God. People become motivated by reward or fear of punishments, by the appeal of charity and doing good works so that we get God's attention. This shouldn't be so. When in fact God requires that we do that because of love for Him and for other people.

I do not say that we should not do good works, but that our motivation to do good works is because we love God who loved us first. And because we should be in awe of His grace, we can't do nothing but love Him and serve Him with all our hearts. Because we experience God's grace, it should manifest in our lives as well. It should pour out naturally, not driven by emotions or human impulse.

Grace makes it possible for us to feel God's love. Grace enables us to connect with God, and do great things for Him.

John Newton composed the song "Amazing Grace" in the 17th century. But the words still ring true today.

As it was ever since the beginning of time...

Amazing grace! How sweet the sound 
That saved a wretch like me! 
I once was lost, but now am found; 
Was blind, but now I see. 


’Twas grace that taught my heart to fear, 
And grace my fears relieved; 
How precious did that grace appear 
The hour I first believed. 




Through many dangers, toils and snares, 
I have already come; 
’Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far, 
And grace will lead me home. 


The Lord has promised good to me, 
His Word my hope secures; 
He will my Shield and Portion be, 
As long as life endures. 


Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail, 
And mortal life shall cease, 
I shall possess, within the veil, 
A life of joy and peace. 


The earth shall soon dissolve like snow, 
The sun forbear to shine; 
But God, who called me here below, 
Will be forever mine. 


When we’ve been there ten thousand years, 
Bright shining as the sun, 
We’ve no less days to sing God’s praise 
Than when we’d first begun.



Your grace brings me to my knees... 

To the Fallen

The Philippine flag raised at half-mast at the headquarters of the
Philippine Rice Research Institute,
during the National Day of Mourning for the fallen 44.

This is for the fallen
in the raging fields of battle
where bullets whizzed, bombs exploded.

Let this banner wave in broad daylight
even in the dark of night
and speak of grief and a resolve to fight.

This is for the fallen warriors
who bravely fought for their nation
this is for you, our solemn salutation.

*******

It's been almost two long months since 44 men of the PNP-SAF were senselessly killed during that dreadful encounter in Mamasapano in Maguindanao. For all it was worth, the days following the massacre showed only the dark side of politics in this country. It revealed the weaknesses of our bureaucracy, or what's left of it. It again shed to the public light the in-accountability of our public officials and the impunity of those responsible.

One cannot contain the anger and the rage upon what is happening in the nation today. It is regretful that this administration can't seem to get away with the traditional blame-game. Could it be true that we have really lost our sense of shame, our sense of accountability, our sense of country?

I hope that the 44 deaths will be enough to purge this country, and bring our people back to their senses.

Long live, warriors!

Great Teacher Ponti

(google image)

Yesterday, I had a short but profound chance encounter with the legendary sir Ponti, one of my greatest teachers and mentors in CLSU. I say "greatest" not to render a cliche but to convey a reality. I say "mentor" not to make a cute statement but to make a fitting description of what he was (and is) to me.

We were both riding our motorcycles when we crossed paths at the intersection road near the CLSU Chapel where he'd turned right and I'd turned left. He was with his little daughter. We stopped for a brief chat. And since we were in the middle of a busy intersection, we only had the chance to ask each other how's it going.

I am more than happy to meet him after a long time. When I was hired to teach at the department of Social Sciences after my graduation, I had the chance to work alongside him for one semester. It was such a privilege. But shortly thereafter, he went out to study and finish his masters. Not that he still needed it, but university protocols require it. Some people don't need multiple degrees to be able to teach, and teach effectively. For me, what sir Ponti teaches from his big heart is more than sufficient. It is larger than life.

When he came back to teach at the university just last semester, I was already out of the academe and into a new work. I didn't realize it until that meeting yesterday that I was not able to inform him that I already left.

The student left without telling the master.

"Balita ko nasa PhilRice ka na?", he asked in his usual booming and fatherly voice.

"Yes sir", was all I can say. 

I know he was about to tell a story but we were in an awkward place and we're both going somewhere. So he just said with full affirmation, "Sige pagbutihan mo ha." And it took just that to calm the dragons of doubt.

The teacher, indeed, has appeared.

And here's the incurable romanticist student, again.

Well, it's not a romanticized cum intellectualized narrative. That simple encounter was profound not because of some engaging intellectual conversation and down-to-earth discussion of some philosophical issues as is characterized by sir Ponti's classroom lectures; but it was profound because of the honest sincerity that characterizes his life.

What I like best, or better admire, about sir Ponti is his down-to-earth persona that just tugs into you. His positive sense of self is contagious enough to make you feel sure about yourself as well. His sincere appreciation of talent and honest affirmation of strengths will make one defy even his or her greatest limitation. He was one of the reasons why I didn't want to remain a mediocre student who, according to him, has "a boring existence". I loved being a SocSci since then.

Plus, I'll never forget his engaging classroom teaching style. That classic, legendary helluva adventure in Philosophy which becomes alive at his words and descriptions and narratives. His lectures are a journey in itself. There's no better way of learning. His distinct teaching style was highly affecting.

It was a style I tried to emulate when I became a teacher myself. Simple but profound. And full of heart.

And thanks to the great teacher Ponti, I had such a wonderful teaching experience that will be cherished and remembered.

For as long as the dragons live, the student, who have now become a warrior, shall press on.

.

On your 27th

You're getting old, dude. What's truer than that? More than a quarter-of-a-century of existence has given you ample time to decide on what truly matters; to define your life's mission towards what will truly count. There's no denying that your time is limited, so make the most out of what you're given. Time is a matter of fact, so is your existence. So is your life.

You've been through a lot--both positive and negative things--in your journey, and through them, you've also learned a lot. Every detour has presented itself as an invaluable lesson. And every life test that has ever occurred turned-out into something useful for your mission. You've been armed fully with experiences that will help you in the fulfillment of your destiny, your upward call. You've been given with a testimony that deserves to be played out loud. Do not waste it. Though the world may seem to be unmindful, let your words and love speak with stunning eloquence that people will be drawn eventually. Love will burst even into lost places.

Remember why you were broken, and was made whole again by grace and truth. You needed the breaking so that love would spill out and reach out to others. You needed the breaking so that your King's glory may be revealed. Oh, were you broken beautifully!

And remember why you are here. Remember the commitment you've made one time during the summer before the ocean and with the sun rising gloriously over the horizon. That you exist to fight in a battle where very few dare go, and very few dare finish strong. That you exist to be consumed, to be spent, to be used, to be broken, and to be offered as a sacrifice bit by every little bit, for the glory of your King.

So run, warrior! Run the journey ahead of you! Run towards the battlefield and slay the dragons and the giants until they are no more! Raise the banner for Jesus in every place you dare go. For truly the King is the Warrior who has overcome! And it is He who says, "...the LORD is with you, mighty warrior!" (Judges 6:12)

The fault, dear Marvin, is not in our stars...

There is something in the stars that I can't resist.

Gazing at these cosmic flares and watching them flicker in the dark of night is something I automatically do every time I need an assurance that all will turn out alright. There is something being stirred deep within the recesses of the soul when I turn my head towards the heavens and just contemplate and try to take in the mysteries written on the face of the night sky. And since they were there, fixated in the grand palette that is the universe, suspended in time and space on which pain and suffering and worries do not matter, I know I am here and why I am here. They affirm my very existence.

And sometimes, when you let the stars take you into a profound stillness you'll realized, that just like their light reaching you from millions of miles away to exactly where you are, that love is able to find you. It has found you.

Tonight, I'll gaze upon the night sky again. And allow the stars to take me in.

“Do you remember still the falling stars

that like swift horses through the heavens raced

and suddenly leaped across the hurdles

of our wishes -- do you recall? And we

did make so many! For there were countless numbers

of stars: each time we looked above we were

astounded by the swiftness of their daring play,

while in our hearts we felt safe and secure

watching these brilliant bodies disintegrate,

knowing somehow we had survived their fall.” 

-Rainer Maria Rilke-

By the thousands

This photo was taken during our first LAYF (Lakas-Angkan Youth Fellowship), at the CLSU Auditorium. We've decided in December last year to relocate to a larger place because the church facility at the NIA-CLSU can not anymore contain the growing number of regular attendees. God is really multiplying this generation by the hundreds!

And indeed, that first LAYF in auditorium, God showed up, and He didn't disappoint. We can not contain the overwhelming joy we felt when we saw huge numbers of youth who came to seek Jesus. We almost filled the main hall of the 2,500-seater CLSU auditorium. God is able to give us the campus by the thousands! 

I remember that night, I was at the back together with some of the youth leaders, our ates and kuyas, and we just fell silent, watching God's spectacle. Our eyes were swelling with tears, and when we can't anymore contain the joy, raised our hands and jumped and danced in celebration. Is this what God meant when He said He is able to win this generation? 

When you can see before your eyes what great things God is doing in this generation of young people, you can really be assured that He is capable of doing more. And I am convinced even more that this is where God is calling us--this stewardship of future leaders and prime movers of the community. If we are going to impact the future of our nation, we have to do it now and we have to do it in the campus.

The Christian minister Frederick Buechner said in that famous quotation: "The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet." I now appreciate that even more, now that the trajectory of my life has been altered by the grace of Him who promised that He can finish whatever He has started in me. I can see myself in no other calling than the one before me. I believe that God will be there to affirm and to deliver!