Dear Warrior Princess

It is raining today as I write this. I can see from the open door of our office the heavy threads of rain, like a grey curtain that extends indefinitely up to the somber morning sky. I can see the constant splattering of water, droplets of rain turning into even smaller droplets as they hit the ground. The sound and the smell of which makes you go back in time, into a certain moment  where the world is at the tips of your fingers and childhood dreams and reality is one and everything is possible. I don't know if it's really the rain that triggered this hyper-romanticize piece of ramblings, or if it's my soul's deep longing for you at this point where it seemed like millions of years already since I started waiting and praying for you. I guess it's the latter. But didn't I wait for so long already? 

You know, the rain would always either impair my thinking and reasoning or it would give clarity to my sense of being--the kind of which makes you bare your true self, your inmost thoughts, your unadulterated emotions. And since I am still thinking clearly right now, I supposed, there's no other conclusion but to say I am dearly missing you already, my Warrior Princess. But I'm not getting ahead of myself, lest I make the same mistake again. I'm not getting ahead of God in His story for my life. My heart have learned to be steadfast, trusting in the Lord and in His timing.

I can only anticipate you, my Warrior Princess, in my prayers and personal time with the Lord. I know that the best way into your heart is to ask it from God, our great Lord whom I believe we both love and serve. I promise to constantly hear from God as He leads me in the right direction. By His unfailing grace, I would not allow my heart to take chances on us, but to prayerfully give to God all anxieties and worries that are part of the waiting season. If there would be times that waiting becomes tougher than it should be, I will bring the battle on my knees and just be still, believing that as I keep on praying God is working. Whether I see Him or not, God is moving.

Like the rain that is due in its season, so I will be--I will be waiting patiently but pursuing prayerfully. I will pursue you in God, but I will pursue God above all. I will seek you persistently in between, but I will seek God first of all. I will dream about you with big dreams about us, but I will dream for God even more. I will strive to honor you in my prayers and I will live to honor God in all matters. I will love you even now as I wait, and I will love God more with all heart, soul, mind and strength. And I know you will, too.

My beloved, know that I am looking forward to that day when we would be able to finally tell each of our stories of seeking, searching and serving God, without fear and doubts. And how wonderful it would be to see the dots in each of our lives finally find connection in the story called "the rest of our life together". But again, until then, my Warrior Princess. I'll see you there.

Waiting with great delight,
Your Warrior Prince

When God says 'wait'

Have you come to a point where you have questioned God's schedule for your life? Have you thought that maybe God is so busy with things other than your desires and feelings? Looking back, I can specifically point out areas in my life that went out of control just because of my inability and unwillingness to wait. There have been those times when I acted out of impulse only to end up miserable and chasing after the wrong things. What if I waited a little bit more? Would that change a thing?

There's so much wisdom in God's word in Psalm 130:5 which says "wait for the LORD, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope." Waiting is God's process of teaching us to hope in Him even if life doesn't make sense at the moment. Even though God would love to show us His great plans for our life all at once, He will not do that because as a Father, He wants us to respond out of love to Him and not because of what He can do for us. We should trust Him one day at a time, in each step, in every heartbeat. When we wait on God, we trust Him that He knows what He is doing and He's never late. That's why we can hope. That's why we can be at rest knowing that behind the scenes, even when we don't see Him, God is working.

The human heart is the most deceitful of all. No doubt about that. It is the source of all frustrations, hurts, and misery because it is evil. And it is in waiting on God that we can get rid of our heart's promptings. When we wait on God, we allow ourselves to focus on His good promises, and on the process of getting there. The last thing we want to happen to our life is to miss God's best just because we want to get ahead of God. He wants us to wait because God wants us to appreciate the beauty of living by faith.

So, that next time you see God flashing the yellow light, proceed with caution, slow down. Wait. And most of all, pray and pursue His words more than anything.

"but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint." -Isaiah 40:31

That grand story of us

Dear Warrior Princess,

It feels rather odd, you know. This idea of you and me finding its way to prose and poetry and all the beautiful words I should be saying to you right now but couldn't because it seemed that the Grand Author has yet to finish this wonderful prologue of our story. He's not in a bit of a rush. And He won't budge in my persistent insistence to just bring us here now and just figure it all out later. He's teaching me a lot about patience in between the waiting and the working. And I'm learning why.

I believe each story has a reason. They were written to inspire, to incite positive emotions (though some don't), to reveal to us something important about our self, to tell us that our life is not just a passing point in history but it contributes to a larger story and impacts other lives. And these stories, when pieced together will make us realize that every plot, every character, every incident, every line leads to a wonderful conclusion. That every detail was there for a reason.

In the stories of our lives, the same is true. The Master story-teller carefully situates every plot and character to bring about a story like no other. He writes our life story with uttermost love and loyalty to us, making sure that we would be experiencing the best possible story there is. And when you know that this Writer does not make mistakes, you can't help but respond with devotion and longing for more of Him.

And the romantic story of US? Well, the prologue is getting better I guess. Let's just both enjoy it for a while. Though sometimes I wish I could take just a glimpse of the table of contents of our love story, but I know it would defeat the purpose of waiting and believing for it. Besides, if we can already figure out the story, the anticipation would dissipate and the excitement would not be there as it should be.

I'm waiting on God, my beloved Warrior Princess. And I just know that when God begins the first chapter of our story together, it's gonna be an exciting and fulfilling journey ahead. We will realize that all the plot twists and rising and falling actions and the detours were meant for us to find each other.

Isn't that a great story? :)

Waiting with great delight,
Your Warrior Prince

Siya na nga ba?

We're part of that generation that is conditioned to want the immediate, to desire the instant, to have it all right here, right now. We're part of that generation that is so accustomed to having everything at just the click of the keyboard or at the snap of the fingers.

We are Generation NOW, and that is our curse. 

Ngayon na nagkalat na ang instant sa mundo (i.e, instant noodles, instant coffee, instant ulam, instant food) parang napakahirap ng maghintay. We're becoming a fast food planet. We think that we are getting left behind kaya naman may tendency na tayo ay magmadali. Uso pa ba ang patience sa mundo? And yet, in all of our rushing, and running and impatience, do we really know what exactly are we rushing for? Bakit nga ba hindi tayo makapaghintay?

Relationship? Oo, yun nga ang tinutukoy ko. Let's get directly to the point. If you you're dreaming for a relationship that will make you excited to wake up every morning without regretting why you woke up with that person beside you, then wait. If you want a relationship that will last--the one that will make you believe na may forever--then wait. If you're desiring for a relationship--not the fairy tale kind but the real thing, then learn to wait.

If you want a relationship that will not compromise your faith and your beliefs, then wait. And if you are a Christian who loves God, then pray for someone who has the same love for God. If you are a godly man who honors the Lord, pursue someone who honors Him. If you are a godly woman who seeks after God's heart, then wait and pray for a man that seeks after His heart. Ganun lang dapat, para happy.

We can learn many things about the love story of Isaac and Rebekah. That it is God who authors a relationship. It is God who confirms His will even for a partner. Yes, si Lord ang writer ng love story mo. Kaya matuto kang maghintay. You can always trust God's timing.

Until the moment God says "she's the one", nothing else will ever make sense. Every person that you would try to pursue and every love that you would try to chase to make your life complete will just be very, very much less than what God already had in mind. 

Gentlemen, she's worth praying for. Awesome ladies, you're worth pursuing for.

*Reflections on Genesis 24.

Loving is bravery

Love is in the air! Or, is it?

It's been a long time since romantic feelings have found its way to my romanticist heart (duh), but luckily, being a romanticist (and sentimentalist) by default means I never ran out of things and ideas and activities and people to fall in love with. 

So I guess, it goes without saying that I'm safe from the debilitating stigma they throw at single people every time Valentines comes around the corner--na unan nalang ang yakapin namin at itulog nalang hanggang dumating ang buwan ng March? I'm always in love, if you know what I mean :)

But the thrill of being in a relationship with another person is of course another matter. And for those who already had such an experience, the reality of waking up in the morning to tell sweet words to that special someone is rather affirming. And for some, a boost in the ego. Haha. 

Well, my own experiences have taught me better things than bitterness. And for all it's worth, they taught me to better appreciate the grandness of human relationships and loving someone; they taught me how to value emotions--the vulnerability that comes with opening yourself up to someone other than yourself and the passion that makes you to be brave for that person.

Yep, I meant that. Loving is always being brave. It is being brave to make someone happy; it is being brave to let that someone know you care; it is being brave to show sincerity and honesty towards that someone.

 But it is also being brave to hold emotions up especially when time is not yet right. It is being brave to examine the motive behind a feeling, the reason behind an emotion, and the purpose behind the pursuit. Even when people tell you that you have to go get it now and go pursue it now but if now isn't the right time for you and you say I'd rather wait--that is bravery! There's more bravery in being Mr. Right, compared with being Mr. Right Now. 

Man, there's so much bravery in waiting than we care to think. 

So, to sum up this rather random romanticisms, I'd like to share this article by Bianca Sparacino that I happen to find in Thought Catalog. While I desist on some of her notions by virtue of some subjective standards, I like the way she string her words and ideas the romanticist's way.

So here it is:

You ruin your life by choosing the wrong person. What is it with our need to fast-track relationships? Why are we so enamored with the idea of first becoming somebody’s rather than somebodies? Trust me when I say that a love bred out of convenience, a love that blossoms from the need to sleep beside someone, a love that caters to our need for attention rather than passion, is a love that will not inspire you at 6 am when you roll over and embrace it. Strive to discover foundational love, the kind of relationship that motivates you to be a better man or woman, the kind of intimacy that is rare rather than right there.

In the midst of this you will learn about yourself. You will grow, you will figure out what inspires you, you will curate your own dreams, your own beliefs, your own stunning clarity, and when you do meet the person who makes your cells dance, you will be sure of it, because you are sure of yourself. Wait for it. Please, I urge you to wait for it, to fight for it, to make an effort for it if you have already found it, because it is the most beautiful thing your heart will experience.

You ruin your life by desensitizing yourself. We are all afraid to say too much, to feel too deeply, to let people know what they mean to us. Caring is not synonymous with crazy. Expressing to someone how special they are to you will make you vulnerable. There is no denying that. However, that is nothing to be ashamed of. There is something breathtakingly beautiful in the moments of smaller magic that occur when you strip down and are honest with those who are important to you. Let that girl know that she inspires you. Tell your mother you love her in front of your friends. Express, express, express. Open yourself up, do not harden yourself to the world, and be bold in who, and how, you love. There is courage in that.

Let love take flight. In its most perfect time, it will soar relentlessly, fearlessly. 
Be brave.

*******

You may read the entire article here: http://thoughtcatalog.com/bianca-sparacino/2014/11/how-to-ruin-your-life-without-even-noticing-that-you-are/

The Waiting Season

I was with some friends the other week at the SM City Cabanatuan for a meet- up and bonding, and we had some interesting conversations that revolved around careers, personal growth, and nothing in particular. Over cups of cold coffee and cinnamon cakes and brownies courtesy of the overrated Starbucks, the four of us--Carlo, Michelle, Steve and I--tried to catch-up with one another with stories in the past, present and future tense.

But the ultimate highlight of the short bonding was the discussion of a very, very familiar topic that all of us could relate with: love and romantic relationships. Seriously?

It seems like it always has to be expected every time people who are now past their first quarter-of-a-century and are still single to talk about romantic feelings and married life. They say it's natural to ask a person who remains unmarried at this age why in this world of over 7 billion people are we still single? I mean, should being single at this age scare you? Where have all the sensible standards gone?

I don't like to sound apologetic here by justifying it's alright to be single right now with all the cliche-ish talk on waiting for the right season, for the right reason, and for the right person. Medyo gasgas na yata ang mga yun. But since I don't mind being apologetic when it comes to these issues, I guess it doesn't hurt that much to throw in my take and a little of my experience that has taught me well. And the hard way.

Note: I don't want this write-up to be that lengthy, so I'll just post it here in a series. Please bear with me :)

Issue No 1. Is the time right?

If you're the choleric type of person and you can't relate with this one, it's alright. Mahirap naman talaga ang maghintay. Especially if in between the waiting period you see no guarantee if what you're waiting for would come. So the tendency here is that we will be tempted to short cut the process just to get there the shortest possible time. We will try to pour out unnecessary attention or misplaced affection to the person we are dreaming to be with. We start to invest time and resources and emotion. At kapag hindi nag-work out, tayo lang din ang frustrated.

Thinking that you are running out of time, or that the person you're praying for might end up with someone else, can be the biggest trap in the waiting season. Wag kang paranoid masyado. If the other person has the same maturity as you have, then who knows he/she might be in the same level of waiting and expecting as you are? Pero wag ka munang kiligin ano? Kung single pa siya ngayon at single ka din, it doesn't mean na magiging kayo na later. Everything worth waiting for should undergo a process.

I remember the life of Abraham on how he waited on God for the promise of a son. He was 75 years old when God spoke to him and said he will be the father of many nations. Man, just how crazy is that? Not only that Abraham was too old; Sarah was also barren. Baog. Gaano katindi yun? It's understandable that Sarah would laugh about it.

 But still, Abraham believed. Abraham waited. But in between the twenty-five years of waiting time--when the promise seemed to have been forgotten and God seemed so silent-- Abraham and Sarah failed in the process. They've tried to handle their situations based on what they know is right at the moment. They made a crucial mistake, but despite that, God's purpose was unstoppable. He can't fail His own words.

You know what I realized here? It is that it was never about Abraham or Sarah or the promised son. It is about the nature and the character of the One who gave the promise. It is all about God. When in our situations we can't see the possibility of a promise, that's because we are looking at the wrong direction. Look up to God who is able to fulfill every promise he has given.

Are you holding on to a promise from God? Is it a promise and a vision of a godly relationship with a godly person? The lesson here: wait upon the LORD.

The best thing that you can do now in between the waiting and the seizing, is to be the right person. As they say, don't try too hard to find the right one, instead, be the right one. You have to realize that there is always a right time for every season in our life. So right now, ano ba ang dapat iprioritize? If you are a student, then it's just common sense that you have to prioritize your study first. If you are a single professional at tingin mo qualified ka na to settle, see to it first that you provide the needs of your family. Baka naman may mga umaasa pa sayo? Wag ka masyadong atat.

Another thing: why not take God seriously this time? You've been wanting to be enamored and be swept away and be swooned and be treated special by a specific person in the past and it didn't end up so well. You've tried to fit in into somebody else's embrace, yet you still find yourself unsatisfied. You've wanted to be loved and feel accepted by that dream boy or that dream girl, and yet you woke up one day to find out it was nothing but a horrible dream. How about falling in love with God? How about embracing the fact that God loves you so desperately that He's willing to demonstrate that love on the cross of Christ?

On a final note, embrace this season of being single as a time for exploring the limitless life we have in Christ. I believe that as we offer this season of our life to the LORD--this season of waiting and serving and seeking His will--He will eventually honor our desires with all that He has promised. And we can only say at the end of the day: thank God I've waited!