Dancing Crystals

(Throwback. Poem dated June 2006. And all because it's raining the whole day today and I'm stuck in the house. Cheers!)


I open my hands
          trembling on every beat
      getting numb on every swing
             of the cold and bewildering
            dancing crystals
                that were sent from the heavens
      to wash away the dirt
               and brokenness and hurt
                        from this abandoned soul...

       I stand still
my feet firm on the ground
               felt the stern soil
                     becomes soft and muddy
            I struggled to face
      the darkened skies
                        billowing clouds above...

My eyes feel the pain
        yet fell on a trance
            deep and profound
                        that I can't resist...

I close my eyes
       internalized the beat
        and I let my tired heart
    succumb to the rhythm
                 and dance in the rain...

Damned Fairytale

It’s the same old, stinking story.

And no doubt it will go on and on in this country which is already fraught with disillusion, chiefly perpetrated by those false prophets who persist on existing in the government and in the sorry state of Philippine politics—without shame.

They will keep on telling their blasphemous stories to every corner of this pitiable archipelago, unrestrained by their feral thirst for power and wealth and self-preservation. And then the helpless Filipino people will fall prey and again be dazzled by the image these pretentious, self-made redeemers try to pose in front of the camera, devouring every little opportunity to appear decent around the media hype on which they build their eccentric ambitions and political dreams.

There’s just so much apathy and indifference in the country that already made people to lose the remaining shred of hope to come through. There are so many crises that continue to paralyze the society and it seems that there’s no one here who is capable of making sense out of this social ills. It seems that everyone in the government only exist for their own interest and self-aggrandizement.

Of course, politics in this side of the universe lacks the very fundamental element that defines the word, more so on its purpose for existence. It lacks the noble notion that government must be by the people and from the people and for the people. It sorely shames the grand idea that a public office is a public trust. How shameful have we become as a people!

It’s just natural to feel the rage with what is happening recently in the Philippine politics. The multi-billion peso Pork Barrel Scam which is allegedly perpetrated by a certain Janet Lim-Napoles using bogus Non-Government Organizations (NGOs) that served as conduits for government funds was a shocking revelation. What is more shocking however, what is more epically shocking is that our honorable members of the Congress—our respected Senators and House Representatives of the republic—claim that they do not know anything about it. When the issue was brought into the public light, none of these honorable congressmen really seem to have the slightest idea of what happened with their very own Pork Barrel; no one really seem to be accountable. 

Everyone denied involvement. Everyone just had amnesia. That is epic.

And Janet Lim-Napoles was left on her own to weave an epic tale of lies and disgusting fairytale; and then she went into hiding. And then the government embarked into a mission now notoriously known as the greatest manhunt in these turbulent times—pursuing her not because of misuse of billions of government funds but by illegally detaining a prospective witness to the scam. One may ask, what the hell is that? That is government idiocy in epic proportions.

With that, the honorable members of the Congress especially those who were involved in the scam were given a chance to lick their own wounds in public, and were quick to favor the abolition of the Pork Barrel system (perhaps the main reason why they keep on running for political positions), when waves of public sentiments began pounding the government. Just like that, the villains masqueraded themselves as one with the people in this noble cause; just like that—like changing of clothes or clicking the switch—the honorable congressmen made themselves untouchable. But for how long?

The people are already used to this kind of maneuvers; and they are already thinking.

The initiative of the people yesterday in Luneta Park, on a day which commemorates the noble heroes of this nation, on a place where the country’s most brilliant mind in the person of Dr. Jose Rizal is enshrined, is no less than symbolic of the Filipino’s outrage against our plight. It solidifies our resolve to see a clean and effective government. It signifies our intention to make this nation break through. And it sends signals to those villains, to those who try to steal from the people; to those who ignore our rights…that power belongs to the people. And that the people are watching them with their eyes… and with their clenched fists and firm voices, they will shake this nation. They will redeem this nation.

Like warriors in fairy tales; like real heroes of their country of birth…they will unsheathe their swords of noble ideals and slay the witches and dragons.

And this epic tale will be told for generations, in kingdoms far away…

(Google image)

What the Mirage Taught Me

There’s one interesting thing about mirage that I am most fascinated about. It is that they tricked you of being real and of being there, yet after approaching it to have a closer look, they suddenly fade away. And just like that, they disappear and gone forever. Makes you wonder what they are and where they are going.

Well, life sometimes is like that. You come to a point where you just realize that some things in life are only there temporarily. Little objects or some phenomena that are transitory, slowly fading away like a haze or a wisp. In a blink of an eye or in a heartbeat, they are gone forever.

Ephemeral. 

Life itself is like that—ephemeral. Philosophers call it existential. Pragmatics has an aversion to its inevitability. The bible renders this matter-of-fact: it is just a passing breath; a flower that quickly fades. This is all liberating when one internalizes its profound meaning. And I am at a constant loss for meaning when faced with such lofty ideas.

All I know is this: I don’t want my life to be a mirage. I don’t want the world or people to say, “Is it really there, or is it not?” I will honor my existence in this life—no matter how transitory it really is—by making the world realize that I was here.

And as one nugget of wisdom says: I am but a speck in the vastness, but I am here to make a dent in this universe.

Love and Distance

Earlier as I was preparing my usual morning regimen of hot coffee with a lot of creamer and sugar, I overheard my aunt on my paternal side and her husband having a light conversation together with their 2-months old baby, Precious Jirah. I heard tito was playing childishly with his daughter, prompting the little baby to converse with him, or hoping to just make some baby sounds. Jirah seem to ignore whatever is going on around her innocent world. This scene of a happy family enjoying the early morning hours went on for few more minutes.

And this all happened in front of a laptop computer... over this internet communication tool called Skype.

My aunt's husband, Totie, is an OFW in the Middle East. After they were married last year, tito went on to work for their future abroad. Typical Filipino reality, if I may say. I personally know many people who are under this reality--this is all too familiar. And yet for me, it is still too confounding and a little too disturbing. It all the more becomes discomforting and absurd when you think of the reason about why people leave families and relatives behind to work abroad. Do they really want to go abroad and leave sons and daughters in the first place? Or are they just forced to, because of necessity, because of the need to, because of the inability of this government to provide decent work that will provide decent salary and not just to subsist? Okay, it's just my rants. But no apologies.

Looking at my aunt's family...looking at their young daughter--I think about her future and how money from abroad will help build it. And I take consolation in that. Maybe, that would suffice. Maybe for people who leave behind families, they take comfort in that thought. And they went on to defy distance because of love.

Me? Haaayy, man I hate distance.

Baby's Day Out:)

I left the university yesterday and went home just to play with these little kiddos and to draw strength from them. Arkin Ianjay, my nephew, now turning 5-months old, and Princess Jirah, my cousin, going 3-months old, are the two most recent addition to our big, happy family. These two cute and cuddly little bundles of fun constantly make me look forward to a homecoming.

What fascinates me most about babies is the quiet confidence (and faith) they possess. They are not bothered nor terrified. They know someone is constantly looking-out for them, taking care of them. No wonder God wants us to have this child-like faith and child-like wonder and innocence. I mean child-like, not childish. Haha. Magkaiba yun noh! 

In a child-like wonder, we should be reminded that Someone out there is constantly looking-out for us, caring for us, and unfailingly loving us...despite and in spite of us.

I am a child in awe of You, my Abba Father 

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"Out of the mouth of babes and nursing infants, You have ordained strength..."

-Psalm 8:2