A Three-year Love Story

It was, for me, a love at first sight.

I can still vividly recall the surging feelings that took over me the first time I laid my eyes on you. I was at a bus terminal waiting for the next trip back home when suddenly I looked over my shoulder and there you are, beautifully standing in the crowd of busy people coming and going in all directions. You stood out above the rest. Your body and beautiful curves was for me, way beyond standard. You possessed that combination of beauty and power and quiet rage.

The person seated next to me was asking what time it is already but I ignored her unconsciously because I was too focused on you. My vision zeroed-in on your direction and it seemed that time and space continuum didn’t matter: I’m stuck on you and I sat there frozen and unable to process my thoughts.

All I can think of at the moment was that I want you. I knew at that moment, I’ve fallen in love big time. I loved you already. 

I really want to approach you then, lay my hands on you, to see you closer and to feel you. But then my bus arrived and I had to go. I had to leave you. I said to myself that if it’s meant to be, we will see each other again. And that’s what I hoped for and desired.

That picture of you in that crowded place stuck in my mind. I never did imagine that it will feel like this. In my sleep, in my work, in all that I do, I see you. More and more the desire to be with you became stronger. It just wouldn’t go away. So I decided from that instance that when that day comes when we will meet again, you would be mine. So I asked people about you. I asked them where could I find you and they offered me very helpful information. You were just somewhere near and I’ve never been so happy.

I promised myself to do everything to have you. I worked hard. I disciplined myself in all areas so that I would deserve you. And with the help of other people closest to me and who have been supportive of this little endeavor, I’ve seen hope…and my dream of having you slowly became a reality.

And it did.

It was exactly three years today when we finally decided to be ‘officially together’. Of course I was the happiest person in the word when finally you belonged to me. It was so overwhelming and I couldn’t comprehend that it happened too fast. But I was thankful. I was so proud of you that I couldn’t help but to show you off to other people. I introduced you to my friends and they were so amazed and proud. And remember the first time I brought you home to meet my family? They too could not conceal the happiness. They were so proud of you. They were so proud of me.

And so we believed we would stay strong together. We were invincible!

 After three years and thousands of miles of journey later, we are still going strong. We’ve been together through the toughest and challenging times. Remember when we were caught by someone doing something we are not yet allowed to do? I almost freaked-out because I never thought it could happen to us—and I paid a considerable price for that.

But the most challenging moment for us was when we almost fell apart because of my own imprudence and recklessness. I became too complacent and too contended with just the two us that I forgot to pay attention to everything else around us. I forgot to pay attention to little yet important details and in return, we both suffered the terrible consequence. And that was just the first.

 Some concerned people advised me to give it a break, to back off and have some time to develop myself first. They told me that I’m not yet ready to take full responsibility just in case. They told me to just take it a little slowly, but I ignored their call. I thought them wrong. They just don’t understand how it felt whenever I’m with you. I feel free and alive. The progression of time when I’m with you just didn’t matter. We owned the world.

But then the second fall happened. Another reckless maneuver, another mistake, another breach in our journey together led to a terrible damage to both of us. It was a big and awful mistake, greater than the first we had. I was wounded and was badly hurt; you were disgraced and terribly broken. I tried to confront and reprimand the third party involved but it was the most uncivilized thing to do at that moment. All I had to do was to accept that maybe it was not yet time for us. That maybe I was going to fast and too furious. That it was all on me and my ignorance. I almost waved the white flag and surrendered…but then I thought it would already be too late to back off. I said to myself I must defend you. I must stand strong for both of us.

The damage had been done, and I’ve learned my lessons the hard way. But it was all worth it. Because it was during these tough times together that I learned many things.

I learned the value of patience and presence of mind, although sometimes I still tend to go beyond our limits.

 I learned that I can not make rules for us because there are always rules already there, and we can’t do anything but follow. We can’t do anything but to conform and go with the flow because that would be most beneficial for us. I learned that it is not just about us, it is about other people as well.

I learned to give way and let others first, especially when it is not my turn move and react, because I know it is the safest way. I learned not to take advantage of others, especially if they are bigger and stronger.

I learned to respect others and I learned not to get into the opposite direction. I learned that I should mind my business and always be conscious of my actions at the same time—because in just one small mistake, who knows it may be all over for us.

And most of all, I learned the value of caution. That in all that I do, the most important thing is to preserve both of us, to take things a little slowly, to be safe, and to take care of “us” at all times. 

I learned to hold on to us and to never lose hope of improving myself, because in the end of it all, what will matter will be the journey together, what will matter will be the distance and how far we’ve gone.

See now, we’ve gone a long way. Three years has been a long time to test each others loyalty and trust. Three years were enough to say we made a good deal out of our partnership. You gave a lot to me more than I gave you. And I want to thank you. 

I want to thank you for keeping up with me. I want to thank you for being there when I needed you, when I can not even carry myself.

I want to thank you because you have brought me to places I never thought I’ll be able to reach on my own. You allowed me to experience life in high-speed and you’ve given me a taste of freedom. 

You’ve been a great part of me now, and I can’t bear to see my life without you. Promise me you’ll stay.

Happy third anniversary to us, my baby HONDA DASH.

At dahil diyan, iti-treat kita ng Tune-up and Change oil! Oh you’ll definitely love that.

Cheers for the next thousand miles! :)

 

Me and my dashing Dash: Three years and counting. Cheers!

Sunset and Solitude

(Photo from the net)

The last rays of the sun creeps desperately through the clouds which hover silently and peacefully in the air. The afternoon breeze invokes memories and warmth of a lost childhood, of a fanciful melody playing at the back of the mind. The blue of the sky which for this time has turned pale orange—like soft ember in the furnace—reminds me of a magical transformation of something too staggering to even describe, or even imagine.

Silence.

 There is something too familiar with this. I remember more stories, like flashes of light dawning upon my innocence and consciousness. Well, sunsets don’t have to be too sentimental like this, but they do. It does when all I need to do is to look at the setting sun just above the vast horizon, and to just be still and contemplate the mysteries of life that I couldn’t actually fathom entirely.

Standing in a field and watching such panoramic splendor somewhat offer me an understanding of what lies beyond the grasp of human imagination, of what possibilities could there be in exploring the horizon which seem to be tauntingly infinite.

And I just love the breeze of the afternoon air, and the scene revealing at dusk: when all there is was the chirping of the birds that happily glide in the sky, perhaps, joining me in the celebration of the greatness of the scene before me, a celebration of the beauty of life. When all there is were the trees beyond, the grass beneath my feet, the faint sound of a motorcycle somewhere, the hum of the cicadas now becoming a tangible musical background joining in the harmony; and yes, the soft rays of the setting sun now silhouetting the landscape which is wonderfully laid before the horizon.

And there was the profound stillness, its assuring comfort, its magic, and its mystery.

When I have nothing to say because words have lost their meaning in such a humbling scene, I keep my mouth and my mind shut, and allow only my heart to speak and my soul to see.

It is such, O Lord, a wonderful world.

There was never an unfathomable mystery, after all.

 ______
“The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament shows His handiwork.” –Psalm 19:1

A Bumper Reminder

We were on the way home after today's bible distribution; the day's winding down, the traffic was building up, and the conversation with my Cell Leader, Kuya James, became a sweeping discussion on leadership issues, crises management, automobiles, jukebox music, seafoods, conspiracies and everything.

Then this simple and timely message I took time to shoot from a cargo truck ahead of us: "IN EVERYTHING YOU DO, GIVE THANKS TO THE LORD."

We will never forget

The day that changed a nation--forever.

Today is the 41st year anniversary of the Martial Law declaration
by Ferdinand E. Marcos.

Today, 41 years after, we are still under the shadow of protracted development; 

of power-hungry politicians that continue to ravage government coffers; 

of patronage politics and cronyism; of selfishness and indifference.

Today, 41 years after and we are still a nation
dependent on some foreign power; 

of culture that is not our own.

The evil king may have long gone; but the dragons are still here...
 lurking in every corner of

the Philippine society which is slowly being fed to monsters of our own creation.

Forty one years after and the heroes and heroines have long been dead.

And though the battle still rages--

the last Dragon slayer is still here...

Point of No Return

Waking up this morning, I was reminded of a Sunday sermon I heard in Assemblies of God Church in San Jose City, which talked about THE inevitable circumstance on which you'll come to a point that you realize some things in your life are out of synch and without proper perspective. It suggests that all circumstance should be viewed in lieu of God's sovereign and impeccable will, which requires our total surrender.

Surrender. Big word. Such a powerful word. Not in the temporal and earthly sense which shallowly view surrender as defeat; but in the eternal sense on which it commands courage and daring and triumph beyond compare. I know I've been consciously and unconsciously avoiding that word for so long, making sure that it won't manifest in areas of my life on which I want to be in control. I've been selfish and stubborn and was addicted to the idea that if it feels good, then it must be fine. But my realizations lately came crashing down on me. I cannot anymore deny the fact that my circumstances are now calling me to a higher level of surrender and faith and obedience. I cannot anymore contain the agony of suppressing the personal convictions that I hold so dear and so necessary to my existence.

You know, the truth is at some point, one must really decide on what directions to take. It takes courage to do that. It takes faith to step into the unknown. It takes conviction to once and for all decide whether you continue holding on to what is left and so hard to fix; or you must let go and give God every detail and allow Him to do the work of restoration and rebuilding.

I have come now to a point wherein I must let go of myself and let God come through in whatever circumstance. I believe that some things in our lives must be shattered so that it will reveal only who we really are and identify where our allegiance is. Some things must be broken so that with every little pieces you give to God, He will make it into something beautiful. Something beyond expectations. Eventually, all things will fall into their proper and rightful places.

So, am I shattered yet? Oh yes I am. Broken for God's glory