The unbearable 'blight-ness' of teaching?

It already dawned on me that I am now officially out of the teaching profession since I resigned more than three weeks ago from the university; and I have yet to adjust to my new work and working environment which I found to be not that really hostile however demands lots of mental and physical power. Read: pressure. 

It has been three weeks away from the vantage view of the whiteboard and congested classrooms but the breathing life of the teaching routine which has sustained me whether in the physical or the metaphysical terms for almost four years is still entrenched in my system and psyche that I sort of miss this profession touted by many as the noblest of all. And on the ‘noblest profession’ part, I still incline to agree.

However, this is not to romanticize the teaching profession although I always have the tendency to romanticize things. As a self-proclaimed romanticist of sort, that has always been my mortal sin. In fact, anyone can romanticize the teaching profession and it rightly deserves so. But then reality resonates, how can one romanticize further what has already gained respect and reverence as a profession. How can one idealize further something that is already larger than life and is close to being indispensable, if not already so? We say that teaching is the noblest of all profession? To what extent really?

Teaching was my first job. Fresh out of college some four years ago—demure and anxious as to what lies ahead of the “real world” just like everyone else—I’ve decided to pick up the whiteboard marker and embraced the teaching profession. Only one thing seemed impossible and rather ludicrous at the moment, which is ironically the one thing necessary for a profession such as teaching: my lack of confidence and my self-limiting withdrawal from anything that is social. Because the truth is, I thought I was too shy to become a teacher. I was too impassive and too concerned only with myself to be someone who is supposed to be responsible for the education of the youth, much more the future of this nation. For the life of me, it was not in my wildest imagination and rational intention that one day I will be someone that is regarded by many as a shaper of lives and moulder of minds. If that is too romantic, short of cliché-ish, that is only because I believe it is how one should suppose to see the teaching profession, and not as something short of a business enterprise. If ever it goes to that degree, business in education is permitted only if it’s in the context of doing business to transform lives. Period.

That is the weight that the people who are in this profession carry upon their shoulders. But unlike Atlas who carried the world on his shoulders however, the teacher’s responsibility to the world is not something mythical because it is real; but it can be legendary. And they are rather like Prometheus, that Greek non-conformist who defied the system which is the gods, and gave fire to mankind. Teachers, through the sacred platform of education and learning unleash that fire to people, that essential catalyst which has been responsible for the progress and survival of human civilization up to this day. Pray tell, how noble is that? With this I’m all hats off to these living legends and modern-day heroes.

(Photo from the internet)

Which brings us to this: are teachers being given the due accolade they deserve from the community which they help build and sustain? Or are they slowly being marginalized due to a post-structural thinking that the community is self-sufficient and self-contained?

In today’s globalized and integrated world, the capitalist appetite for power and control relegates teaching to the blue collar job, a no-good profession that does nothing more than to measure in quantitative yardsticks a person’s capacity or whether he is fit for a work or otherwise. We now seem to know a lot of ways to measure a person’s intelligence and aptitude, and unfortunately, we equate education as such. Is how much a person learns more valuable that what he/she actually learns? Worst, when one uses teaching only as a tool for the advancement of personal ambitions—for control and manipulation—then teaching fails absolutely in its supposed duty.

But we cannot solely blame teachers for that. It pays to look at the context of the community upon which teachers are received and perceived.

(to be continued...)

LEGENDS

(Here goes to all teachers around the world. It is still my fervent belief that teaching is  one of the noblest of all professions, if not the noblest. And though I just resigned from the teaching work recently (story on next post, hehe), its life changing impact on my person and well-being will go with me for the rest of this lifetime. Admittedly, I owe a lot to the teaching profession, and here on this post--to the two most influential teachers that molded me way beyond their assigned 'role' as teachers. Happy World Teachers Day. Cheers!)

Two of the names which could easily surface when I think of “great” people were two of my former teachers in CLSU—and I daresay, the two of the best teachers in CLSU.

They are Professor Ben G. Domingo Jr., much known by the students as “Tatay Ben”; and Sir Michael Carlo Abella, or better known as Sir Ponti.

Theirs will be the name I would always attach the word “teacher”, in the most precise definition of the word. I picked them out of the ordinary because they possess such an extraordinary perspective when it comes to educating students.

Sir Ben (I was not used to call him Tatay Ben because we were not that actually close like his students in Dev.Com) , was once my teacher in Public Speaking and Argumentation and Debate. He's from the Department of English and Humanities, and teaches almost every English subject.

The best thing about Sir Ben is that he never easily gives up on his students. You can call a student mediocre, but Sir Ben sees the potential behind that mediocrity. He always encouraged us in class to be better than what we are, and challenged us to exceed our limitations and to "think out of the box".

I learned from him that nothing can stop you if you are willing to firmly stand on your principles and on what you believe in. He considers courage and daring to be the key to making yourself the best person you can be.

There were so many things I learned from his lectures, which not only focused on the lessons on textbooks, but also on necessary lessons about life. He oftentimes point to his experiences in life as his greatest lessons, and true to him, experience is the best teacher.

Because of him, I came to regret once that I did not pursue Development Communication so that he could be my teacher for many subjects and not just one. But with what I learned from him, I came to love my course and see it in a more profound way.

Meanwhile, like Prof Ben, Sir Ponti was one of the teachers I dreamed of having in class. As a teacher, he was oftentimes seen as a funny person, and one who possesses a jolly and bubbly personality that is easily loved by people. He also has a free spirit that is very contagious if one would really read between his lips.

Sir Ponti was my teacher in our our last Philosophy subject in our curriculum, which is Philosophy of Man. My perception of his ‘greatness’ as a teacher was actually just established by the stories of his former students, most especially from the SokSay community. I had the notion that these stories were just myths and exaggerations. Not until he became my teacher that I realized he was more than the mythical figure I heard of, more than what legends have told in their romanticized stories.

To my opinion, he was some sort of an exciting adventure during lecture hours, in which, as you go along with his life stories you would discover for yourselves hidden treasures that was knowledge and learning.

He was a good story teller, yet what he says are not mere stories but knowledge itself. Not only knowledge about the lessons, but, like what Sir Ben reveals, knowledge about the world beyond the four walls of the classroom.

Like Prof Ben, he encourages students to be involved in things that could make them more productive and useful to the society. Sir Ponti is an advocate of extra-curricular learning: learning things outside the classroom, learning lessons under the sun. These things taught me that the best lessons of life one could learn are the lessons obtained by being with people in different walks of life. Sometimes, these lessons appear to be unrewarding at first glance, yet as you give them a place in your heart, they could be magical.

One of the best things Sir Ponti said, and one that I will remember, goes like this: “Just work hard and do your best…never mind what the world says at you. Do what makes you happy…and eventually, time will come that the world will see how greatness is made and achieved…”

With that, I am reminded that greatness was never given at birth, not for only a few individuals. More often than not, greatness is to be achieved, and most of the time, it is achieved through the respect and appreciation from the people whose lives you have touched….and changed.

And I say that Sir Ben and Sir Ponti, in more ways than one, have touched, inspired, and changed my perspectives, and challenged me to become bigger and better than I am. They helped a lot in grounding me as a person, and made me realize that there is more to it than the things we have in this life--and that, like what the Little Prince enunciated, the most essential things in this world are the ones that are felt by the heart.

That made them to be greater than what they could ever imagine. They are larger than life.

They are living legends.

Things that matter

Perhaps it’s the rain. Or perhaps it’s just sentimentality kicking in. But the rain that’s pouring outside seems to penetrate the inside of my being, attempting to break through the transparent glass wall of our office to wash away irrelevant thoughts running in the mind. As if to wake me up to reality. And the reality is this: here I am sitting in my cubicle, satisfied with the tasks that I finished today…and now typing away with words which are confirmation to my existence.

And it’s so wonderfully irresistible: this notion of words and sentiment tumbling like rain after a sweltering and exhausting day. It’s refreshing. It melts the heart with significance and meaning.

While the rain pours outside and I’m here synthesizing the articles that I’m writing for our field journal, the same piece of music keeps on playing on my computer. Not that I don’t have any other song in my playlist, but like a good book that one can’t resist, this song has the power to entice until one is able to grasp its truth and meaning. This particular song is one that has always comforted me about the relevance of my belief, and to whom this belief is grounded to. The title of the song is “You are God alone”, and it extols who God is: the extent of His power, and the greatness of His being. It declares the majesty, the immutability, the immortality, and the infinite perfection of the Creator of the universe. And I am humbled by these truths of who God is:

UNCHANGEABLE

The God who says that He is the same yesterday, today, and forever is true to His promises: He will never change, and nothing in this world can change the fact that He loves us so much…and loves us so desperately that He came to offer His life for us, to reach out to us, to seek and to save us. And that LOVE will never fade or diminish even though this world slowly fades away. As C.S. Lewis said, our emotions come and go, but God’s love for us does not. And yes I know that my emotions, perspectives, and beliefs may change, but God never will. God’s immutability means that He is outside time and beyond time. His love and grace and mercy is infinite…and I rest my case on that.

UNSHAKABLE

Troubles and worries may shake a person, but God remains unshakable. He is the firm foundation upon which those who trust in Him is grounded, and are therefore safe and secured. Psalm 46:2 says “…I will not fear, even though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; though its water roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with its swelling”. God being unshakable means He cannot be trampled upon by world’s standards. God being unshakable means that He cannot be subdued by the forces of this world, both physical and immaterial.

UNSTOPPABLE

When God sets something in motion, no one and nothing can stop Him. Nothing can stop His purposes and plans from being fulfilled. I am grateful for the fact that He promises to finish all the good works He has started in me…and I know that He will. I know that He will come through in whatever circumstance. There may be delays and detours, but His plan has been set in motion and it will be accomplished.

Truly Lord, “who is like You, majestic in holiness, awesome in glory, working wonders?” (Exodus 15:11)

There is none. You are God alone.

#ThrowbackTuesday: Painful Lessons

(Disclaimer: Wala po itong pinaghuhugutan. Promise:)

Medyo naaksidente ako kahapon sa motor ko kasama si Mam Josephine

at Sir Imo. We were returning to the Soc.Sci. Dept galing ng CLSU admin building kung saan kumuha kami ng sweldo (Yey!). Binabagtas namin yung daan sa may tapat ng Science High School when suddenly a low-flying helicopter passed overhead. Ang nangyari, I got curious kaya tumingin ako sa taas para tignan yung helicopter. Oo, tumingin ako pero saglit lang naman. Then the next thing I heard was Sir Imo shouting at me "Ooy!! Ooy!".But it was too late. The next thing I saw was my motorcycle crashing onto the gutter, at kaming tatlo tumilapon sa may mabatong lupa sa may tabi ng kalsada. Wow! Epic ang katahimikang sumunod. Epic ang pag-kasemplang namin. Hindi kami nakapag-react agad. Buti nalang hindi masyadong mabilis. Buti nalang hindi masyadong nasugatan mga sakay ko. Except for some lacerations na nakuha ng right leg ko, wala naman ng masyadong injury. Masakit lang sa katawan kasi nahampas sa lupa.

I went to the infirmary immediately to have my wounds cleaned

and to have a shot of anti-tetanus. There I saw my wounds and I realized that it was real. And because it was real, the pain was stabbing when the adrenalin has subsided.So I woke up today enduring the pain in my body and with fresh realizations (that means my emo mode has just kicked in). And since I wont be able to attend my graduate class today, I'll have this time to teach myself these few lessons:

Lesson No. 1:

Never lose your focus. Especially when driving, your best asset to preserve your life and those around you is to have a single-minded determination to fix your eyes on the road. Stay on your lane. Know the boundary lines. You'll never know the value of this until you crash on the gutter and the next thing you'll see is the ground screaming at your face.

Lesson No. 2:

Presence of mind is a virtue. Remember that when you're on the road driving, the risk of taking just one simple mistake is high, so you might as well be quick to assess your situation and take necessary action (or precaution). You don't like to hurt other people, or yourself... just because you're thinking about other things. Like how was it to ride in a helicopter and glide like a bird.

Lesson No. 3:

Don't blame the mistake on someone or something. Don't ever think that other people is responsible for the quality of your driving, or that it was the fault of a low-flying helicopter you're only curious to look at. You know whose fault it is? It's either You, or Yourself. Go figure. It will take time.

Lesson No. 4:

Curiosity kills the cat. Really, I don't even know what that means, but I incline to agree. Curious things are distraction when you're there on the road driving. Don't get distracted by unnecessary things. So what if it's a helicopter or a UFO flying somewhere overhead? So what if it's a bird, or a plane, or Superman himself?. Remember, you have a destination to go to. And plunging onto the gutter is never a good shortcut.

Lesson No.5:

Don't be stupid. Spare yourself from humiliation. Period.

Pero ang pinaka-epic? Nanghinayang talaga ako sa nabutas kong pantalon! Twice ko palang sinusuot yun. First time ko pa man din bumili ng mamahaling jeans tapos ganun pa. Epic talaga! Tapos yung

tipong kakareceive mo lang ng sahod mo e sa pambili pa ng pain-killer mapupunta? 

That is capital E-P-I-C mah mehn!

PS: Salamat sa CLSU Infirmary for attending to my wounds. Medyo cute nung nurse na nag-administer saken ng vaccine. Haha. Echoz. FOCUS!

(Originally posted as Facebook status dated March 15, 2014)

Possibilities

It always goes down to making a choice isn't it? It always goes down to deciding whether to stay or to leave. To stop or to go on. Life, I guess, doesn't offer you an easy way of making decisions, or an easy way out. I learned that it's an inevitable part of life that if you want something, then at some point you have to give up something in exchange. You can not do all things. And you can not have all things as well. But even if life seems complicated at times, we are not powerless to define it. In fact, people are given the capability and the responsibility to direct it through our own choices. And standing for those choices despite random confusion around us.

As they say, life is not a series of chances, but a series of choices. But what choices will you make?

I remember my choice to study in CLSU despite my dream of studying in some lucrative and top school in Metro Manila. I was to graduate at the top of my high school class and people are expecting me to pursue the "top universities" for my college education, some even encouraging and convincing my parents to sacrifice sending their "panganay" to these universities. But because of some considerations and possibilities, I made an inevitable decision. I made a choice that was to transform my life and everything. And I ended up in this more than 658-hectare campus--this large piece of land studded with different trees and imposing landscape--that in its grand and quiet dignity I immediately fell in love with, I am still in love with, and will forever be in love with.

I remember my choice to give up my desire to become a biologist. Yes, that was the first and only choice I've written on my CLSU application form. BS Biology was not an option for me then, when during my sophomore year in high school I made up my mind to take up biology as a course. And perhaps as a lifetime profession. So I made a choice, and I ended up in S1, a science section, along with other freshmen who wanted to take the same course. But after a year in a science section, I realized that perhaps biology isn't for me after all. Or that I am not for biology. So I started thinking of other possibilities. I started looking for something I really love, something that wouldn't feel as a job someday when I already started working, something meaningful for me. And that something, I later found out, is Social Sciences: a science of people and the community. I made a choice and a decision that would later teach me so many things about life--life that is not only viewed from the limited windows of the classroom or pages of a book or corners of the whiteboard, but LIFE that is breathing deeply, pulsating with energy, vibrant with hope and filled with purpose. I am not here to extol the virtues (because there are many) of my chosen course, the "science of the social", but in humble respect and recognition to the discipline and the people in it who molded me and grounded me in my person, I say these things. And I know I will say these again and again for many, many more times.

I remember my choice to stay in CLSU and work here right after graduation. Well yeah, I don't like to consider that as a work but a kind of paying-it-forward, due to lack of a more appropriate term. But I also remember the personal conflict I used to struggle with before applying for a teaching stint: I was like, "No dude, not here in CLSU. Teachers aren't paid well...you can get a much better work somewhere, blah blah blah..." My ego almost won that instance. Almost. But then I again made a decision that later on will tell something about what is more important to me and for me. Realizing that the opportunity to pay my "dues" to the discipline that molded me has come, I chose to stay. And it was one of the best choices I made. It was something that I will never regret. Four years of teaching in this university has taught me a lot of things (I will write another note for that, haha). I fell in love with the classroom as a workplace, no, not a workplace, but a platform that affects countless students and youth. For me it's like a form of reaching out to the future generation, planting seeds today that will be harvested tomorrow. I am proud of the teaching profession. Given the hardships and sacrifices of teachers just to accomplish the task of building the nation, isn't it the time that the government consider (again) giving teachers a better reward for their dedication? Or am I asking for too much? But I'm thinking of possibilities.

And now, I remember my choice and decision to leave the academe. To leave the profession from which I learned a lot from, that gave me more than I have given, that enlarged me in my person in ways I never expected. Here is the point where I don't have the appropriate words to say. But then again, it all boils down to making choices, isn't it? That at some point, you really have to decide. Well there are inevitable factors as there are reasonable justifications whether in staying or in leaving, but really, everything is made up of choices. But I am embracing my choices as I am embracing my possibilities. This life, I also learned, offers a lot of possibilities, and here I am again face to face with one. So here I am not saying goodbyes or farewells, but saying hello to possibilities.

With that, I remember this poem below by Emily Dickinson. It will perhaps convey the words I can not say myself. I just love the way it tugs into me, especially on this significant transition in my life. The title of the poem is "I dwell in Possibility":

"I dwell in Possibility –

A fairer House than Prose –

More numerous of Windows –

Superior – for Doors –

Of Chambers as the Cedars –

Impregnable of eye –

And for an everlasting Roof

The Gambrels of the Sky –

Of Visitors – the fairest –

For Occupation – This –

The spreading wide my narrow Hands

To gather Paradise."

So there, I guess it's time for me to spread wide my arms and gather paradise again. And yes with God, the best is yet to come...and I am ready

Here's to all possibilities!